Michael Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon if there is one flaw in women, it is this...they forget there worth and how remarkable they truly are!
←Rate | 02-16-2010 17:42 by Michael Comments (3)  


   messageicon John Boehner and Harry Ried get into a feminine slap fight complete with hair pulling and name calling on the steps of the Capitol. See it tonight at midnight on the season finale of "The Government"
←Rate | 09-30-2013 12:56 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon What people think of your problems: 80% don't care, 20% are glad you have them.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 07:50 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Ariel Castro's neck.
←Rate | 09-04-2013 11:44 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon So apparently sex burns off the same number of calories as running 5 miles. Who the hell can run 5 miles in 30 seconds?
←Rate | 10-10-2014 08:50 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS - House Speaker John Boehner announced that he will not stand in the way of a Senate resolution to end the government shutdown leaving millions of Americans asking, "When did the government shutdown?"
←Rate | 10-16-2013 17:07 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon So today I have to write my review for work. What's the best way to put, “I golfed over 200 rounds this last summer while you paid me to be at my office?”
←Rate | 01-15-2011 14:06 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact - A man will burn apx 100 calories during an orgasm and a woman will gain about 5 calories when she swallows it.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 10:04 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent CNN poll shows that 53% of Americans don't believe Obama to be honest or trustworthy. The other 47% of Americans weren't polled.
←Rate | 11-25-2013 08:54 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being that we can't see the Bin Ladin Video... can we reroll the Bill an Monica video.
←Rate | 05-04-2011 17:34 by michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quit while you're ah
←Rate | 02-17-2011 17:21 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gee. Lets ask an openly christian man who owns a chain of restaurants that are closed on Sunday what his beliefs on gay marriage are, then act surprised when we find out his beliefs.... Idiots.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 22:42 by Michael Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Would you like anything else?" What I said - "A little bit of mayo, please". What the Subway Sandwich Artist heard - "A wholesale club sized jar of Helmann's, put it all on one side, and make sure it all squeezes out when you wrap it up."
←Rate | 09-26-2013 14:20 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trending right now on Yahoo - 1. Kate Upton 2. Gisele Bundchen 3. Vanessa Hudgens 4. Wrist Injuries
←Rate | 06-20-2013 11:50 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 13:27 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon one beer short of a six pack
←Rate | 11-23-2008 19:06 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon offensive and creative like handicap porn…
←Rate | 04-11-2011 10:44 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just figured out how to stop the oil spill! Put a wedding ring on it and it will never put out again.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 12:10 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You know. If I had a son, he'd look like Hunter Biden and would do blow off a secretary's tramp stamp on a Naval base" ~ Barack Obama
←Rate | 10-17-2014 09:01 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: The Cinncinatti Bengals have announced that they have entered into negotiations with the New England Patriots to trade for Aaron Hernandez..
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:42 by Michael Comments (1)  



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