Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon if you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was little I didn't care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it's obvious that my parents didn't care either.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 13:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 16:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Billion Dollar Idea: A condom that changes color when it comes in contact with an STD.
←Rate | 01-13-2013 15:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hindsight, allowing girls into our treehouse would have been a great idea.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 14:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Survival rule #1: You go first.
←Rate | 05-14-2011 13:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Facebook friend, I was so super excited to read your post about you having pork chops for dinner. It was almost as captivating as your story about taking your grandmother to the grocery store. Where do you come up with this stuff???
←Rate | 10-17-2011 12:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 07:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having one of those days where when I get home I'm going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: guys don't care if the carpet matches the drapes as long as there is no rug on the back porch.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 08:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 19:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I should be held responsible for the things I say to fill awkward silences.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn't matter what. I just need something to drink to.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 09:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 11:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 21:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon You ever notice how most Ford vehicle names are more fun when you put "anal" in front of them? Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger, Focus...
←Rate | 06-27-2011 16:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will never be too old to enjoy driving by a stranger, honking, and waving just to see the confused look on their face and awkward wave back.
←Rate | 05-03-2011 11:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake. It's a choice.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 22:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I've never partied that hard.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 12:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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