Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 07:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having one of those days where when I get home I'm going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 21:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate.
←Rate | 10-17-2012 10:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: guys don't care if the carpet matches the drapes as long as there is no rug on the back porch.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 08:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I should be held responsible for the things I say to fill awkward silences.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 19:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 11:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 21:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon You ever notice how most Ford vehicle names are more fun when you put "anal" in front of them? Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger, Focus...
←Rate | 06-27-2011 16:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will never be too old to enjoy driving by a stranger, honking, and waving just to see the confused look on their face and awkward wave back.
←Rate | 05-03-2011 11:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I've never partied that hard.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 12:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone ever looked at some of the people you dated in High School that are now on Facebook and think, "Thank God, I really dodged a bullet on that ONE!?!"
←Rate | 09-30-2011 10:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
←Rate | 05-11-2012 10:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think everyone on the east coast should have played dead just to scare the crap out of everyone on the west coast.
←Rate | 05-22-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Cause, you know, opposites attract.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have benefits if anybody needs a friend.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 22:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell a girl a million times shes not fat... She'll never believe you... Call her fat once she'll never forget it.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 13:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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