Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 12:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look darling. I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world nor the richest or the smartest but to be brutally honest, I don't see anyone else stalking you.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 16:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
←Rate | 05-11-2012 10:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think everyone on the east coast should have played dead just to scare the crap out of everyone on the west coast.
←Rate | 05-22-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Cause, you know, opposites attract.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have benefits if anybody needs a friend.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 22:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell a girl a million times shes not fat... She'll never believe you... Call her fat once she'll never forget it.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 13:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just coughed and sneezed at the same time, I think I traveled 3 seconds into the future.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 19:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
←Rate | 09-09-2012 14:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're talking on your cell phone in a public bathroom, I will flush the toilet over and over so your friend knows *exactly* where you are.
←Rate | 05-14-2011 13:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other than insecurity, alcoholism, infidelity, and sheer stupidity most of you are pretty much perfect.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 11:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
←Rate | 12-01-2010 08:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newton's laws say that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, proving he knew nothing about women.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 13:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend's ex walked over to me the other day and asked… "So how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?" I said, "Doesn't bother me, actually once you get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new."
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 18:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think we didn't notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 14:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 11:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need to make better choices, I need better things to choose FROM.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've finally collected enough rats asses to give to everyone on my list.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 18:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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