Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You had me at "Hello"... But you lost me when you kept talking.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 00:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be with someone who isn't crazy but unfortunately I'm only attracted to women.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 00:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 00:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he's called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
←Rate | 02-18-2015 13:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 11:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of stuff coming out of this woman's handbag as she searched for her keys, I wouldn't be surprised if that missing Malaysian plane is in there too.
←Rate | 05-30-2014 01:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just seen a picture of Rihanna fully dressed. Man these hackers don't sleep.
←Rate | 09-05-2014 09:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
←Rate | 07-22-2013 13:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor says I'm morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 23:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She says she is surprised to see me but her drawn eyebrows tell a different story.
←Rate | 03-17-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my kids don't even believe how cool I was in the 90s.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 10:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most interesting thing about me is my lack of interest.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m small but influential. Like bacteria or Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 04-18-2018 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wife: Why did you drink all the rum? me: I lost the cap
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m suffering complications following my birth
←Rate | 08-01-2018 01:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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