John Y Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't remember how the saying goes, but I think it's Rum before Whiskey, before Vodka, = Heart Palpitations.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 11:10 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Liking your own Facebook status is kind of like high fiving yourself after a fap. Please stop it!
←Rate | 02-05-2015 21:51 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon The money I'm saving by not having a girlfriend on valentines day will most likely be spent on booze to help me through these trying and lonely times.
←Rate | 01-19-2015 14:37 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was that "wadup yo" directed at me? Euah. Okay, well, I think that was a yes... No brah, you may not "axe" me a question. I don't speak hood. Now pull up your pants! How are idiots like this in college? Friggen STUPID!
←Rate | 10-08-2014 19:21 by John Y Comments (2)  


   messageicon I guess Monica Lewinsky is trying to sell herself as some sort of crusader against cyber bullying. I'm glad she found a new calling, she blew her chances at a political career!
←Rate | 10-27-2014 22:10 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should learn from the past, live for today, and look forward to tomorrow... I'm gonna take a nap!
←Rate | 01-19-2015 16:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found some old "coupons" I got from an ex for a birthday. Any of you ladies take competitor's coupons?
←Rate | 01-19-2015 16:30 by John Y Comments (2)  


   messageicon I remember simpler times, when George Michael was straight, Prince was gay, and Catholic Priests could be trusted with young boys.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 17:19 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not the heat, it's the humidity...That's just dumb, and it shows your stupidity!
←Rate | 07-28-2016 16:33 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it always "did you drink all of the beer", instead of, "hey thanks for cleaning out that drawer in the refrigerator"?
←Rate | 01-19-2015 15:40 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had a WTF moment when Adele stoped singing and immediately turned into Mrs. Doubtfire. I also just learned that she has a potty mouth, and I like it!
←Rate | 12-23-2015 21:31 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided on my Valentine's Day date...Its going to be whoever sits down next to me at Fricker's. Fingers crossed that its a girl this year!
←Rate | 02-13-2017 15:19 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a thought...How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
←Rate | 03-06-2017 16:17 by John Y Comments (1)  


   messageicon You people can keep blaming your weight/waist or tight fitting clothes on the holidays if you want, but I am not going to lie to myself or others. I was fat in August!
←Rate | 01-19-2015 15:27 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9 out of 10 men prefer women, and that other guy, well he prefers one of those 9 men.
←Rate | 03-21-2016 14:33 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you call vocabulary, others may call jargon, gibberish, lingo or slang...but its all the same to me.
←Rate | 12-29-2014 15:16 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon You probably shouldn't call me lazy until you've taken a few steps in my sandals.
←Rate | 04-18-2015 18:56 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just look at a person and think seriously,that's the sperm that won the race.
←Rate | 01-19-2015 14:35 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aaron Hernandez went from getting 40 million as a tight end, to needing two packs of smokes for a tight end.
←Rate | 04-16-2015 18:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided not to workout today. Instead I'll be working on my ABS of beer.
←Rate | 01-16-2016 17:32 by John Y Comments (0)  


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