Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The way Police check to see if you're wearing your seat belt they should do to make sure ''Certain'' people are wearing Condoms!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a I don't give a F*CK Diet......I've already lost 10 a$$holes!!!
←Rate | 07-07-2012 18:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 16:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attorney General Eric Holder will take away all your guns!........ Mexican Drug Cartel ''That;s where I got mine!!!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 14:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Country is at War!........with itself!!!
←Rate | 06-28-2012 20:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the first time in History, the average Canadian is now wealthier than the average American! Don't be discouraged though, this just gives us the option to borrow money from someone else now!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 06:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon $19.99 because $20 is an outrageous amount of money!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:40 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Wife tld me her fantasy would be to spend the night with George Clooney! Then she flipped out when I told her mine! Apparently, ''Melanie the lady with the nice body next door!'' wasn't a good answer!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 04:12 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can only say WTF so many times in a day before you just start drinking!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 11:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't give up your car when someone else drives drunk! So why would you give up your gun when someone else commits a crime with a gun?!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 13:05 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not like being told what to do unless I'm naked!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 17:58 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is nothing better than putting on a warm pair of underwear fresh from the dryer! I even like to scan the laundramat to try and figure out who they belong to!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 04:44 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now the United States and China are tied in total Olympic medals! Of course we trail in Gold medals because every time we win one we have to turn it over to China to pay our debt!!!
←Rate | 07-31-2012 13:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it looks like a B!tch, talks like a B!tch, and acts like a B!tch! Congratulations you met my EX!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 10:42 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a job! I can't eat Healthcare!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 22:22 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish cake went straight to my Pen!s!!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 18:21 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I buy a box of condoms I always look the cashier in the eyes and say ''Where's your fitting room?!''
←Rate | 07-23-2012 21:35 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a list of people who asked for your opinion.................
←Rate | 08-07-2012 00:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 08:10 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just came from the Library and asked the librarian Do you have any books on ''How to find a job'' she muttered Most likely in the ''Fantasy Section!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 11:05 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  



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