Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4848 of 6370
I'd f**k your brains out...unfortunately someone beat me to it
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05-23-2011 20:55 by Teresa
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When I say I'm fine it doesn't always mean I'm fine, but what it does mean is leave me the hell alone
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05-23-2011 20:53
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wouldn't have to manage her anger if certain people would manage their stupidity.
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05-23-2011 20:51
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The number of ways I could care less is astounding!
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05-23-2011 20:23
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If you need more instructions, please refer to the users manual, or put your hands together, bow your head and contact tech support!
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05-23-2011 20:21
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The world did not end on the 21st. It was just rebooted. Please be sure your security software is up to date. Run a full scan of your life and remove any malicious files which may be damaging your joy, stealing your hope, or slowing down your blessings. I
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05-23-2011 20:20
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It's perfectly normal and all-American to eat peanut butter off of a steak knife ;) Just be careful!
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05-23-2011 19:53
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That awkward moment when your friends gets in the club and you don't...lol...
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05-23-2011 19:46
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Right hook!! Right hook!! Body blow!! Body blow!! Uppercut!! Uppercut!! the last entry in "Glass Joe's" diary....
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05-23-2011 19:38
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Atheists - 2 Harold Camping - 0
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05-23-2011 19:32
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The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
Never again will I eat a foot long corn dog at a nude beach.!!!
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05-23-2011 19:10
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Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
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05-23-2011 18:10 by J. BIAZA
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Anyone besides me have that totally narcissistic FB friend that post the most mundane things about their life because they think people actually care? Typing this while pooping.
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05-23-2011 17:20
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was really hoping the rapture would have taken away all the people that believed the rapture was going to take them away.
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05-23-2011 16:35
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Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
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05-23-2011 16:14 by J. BIAZA
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was really hoping the rapture was coming to take away all the people that believed this rapture was real.
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05-23-2011 16:00
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he loves heavy metal ... gold , steel and lead are his favourites
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05-23-2011 15:39 by vvvvvv
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Harold camping: turning the world atheist, 1 bogus prediction at a time
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05-23-2011 15:26
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Fella's: If your wife says she might be pregnant. Saying"I am pro choice" Is frowned upon......apparently!
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05-23-2011 15:21 by RUDEDOG
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