Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4563 of 6370
I'll usually hug people when it's obvious they only want to shake hands
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08-24-2011 16:13 by flinnie
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I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
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08-24-2011 16:12 by flinnie
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Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs
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08-24-2011 16:10 by flinnie
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Saw a black velvet Kenny Rogers painting today. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.
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08-24-2011 16:06 by flinnie
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Dear Lord, please give me the strength to forgive those who put LOL in their status updates
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08-24-2011 16:03 by flinnie
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Well, I guess these tequila shots aren't going to regret themselves
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08-24-2011 15:56 by flinnie
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While Prince may have found his mother demanding. Maybe she just didn't want to see him wear a frilly purple suit everyday
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08-24-2011 15:51 by flinnie
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Whoever coined the phrase "The Buck stops here" has obviously never ever carried my poor wallet!
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08-24-2011 15:30 by JBabcock
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A girl's moan is the sexiest sound, ever.
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08-24-2011 15:24
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Respect your parents. They pay for your internet
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08-24-2011 15:22
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i would slap the pretty out of your face if you had any left
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08-24-2011 15:11
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Help me out... I cant decide. Should I buy flowers or a sympathy card for the b*tches dying to be like me
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08-24-2011 15:11
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if ignorance is bliss then there are a sh#t load of people in paradise
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08-24-2011 15:01 by migasjoe
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pandora just gave me a Hanson song and it wasn't even Mmmbop...Shamful!!!
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08-24-2011 14:59 by migasjoe
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any questions asked while I am counting out scoops of coffee will be answered with louder counting
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08-24-2011 14:55
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You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn website in ur address bar smh
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08-24-2011 14:16
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There is alot of good women out there, but there isn't enough good men to match their value.
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08-24-2011 13:51
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I remember when I first met her, she was all quiet, shy, innocent and reserved. But now...lets just say, I created a monster.
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08-24-2011 13:49
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I was going to buy Hannah Montana movie off Amazon com it said users who bought this also purchased hand lotion and tissues.
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08-24-2011 13:23
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My girlfriend asked me for another word for incorrect. Of course, my answer was wrong.