love Funny Status Messages

   Captain and Tennille divorcing after 39 years? But I thought "Love was going to keep you together"? I guess he got tired of "Doing it to her one more time"

   If I'm ever in a coma, please don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love.

   I'll give you an exact definition of "in love". When her bra and underwear match.

   I'd love to have sat in the marketing analysis meetings that gave us our early cartoons. "You know what America would love? A batsh*t crazy woodpecker, that's what! And a pig, a stuttering f*cking pig!"

   STRESS:- The bodies natural physiological response to restraining oneself from strangling the living s#$t of someone who really deserves it. ahhhh gotta love my job!!! lol

   some song lyrics are just so wrong.. "I drove all night to get to you, is that alright? I drove all night, crept in your room Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you Is that alright?"...No Roy, it was not alright at all!!!

   Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

   Why do fools fall in love? Because smart people know that, odds are, it will end horribly.

   "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."

   If you truly love someone you roll down the window to scoop out the fart you put in the car.

   Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

   thinking God must love stupid people...he made so many!

   I love it when the person's laugh is funnier than the actual joke.

   Man I hate Taylor Swift..I mean don't you wanna put her over your knee and spank her azz,,,her tight, firm, round azz,,,and pull her hair,,,her soft, flowing beautiful hair,,,man I love Taylor Swift.

   "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

   Some people call me the Space Cowboy., some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice.... those people suck at nicknames.

   You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness... You'd be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone...

   Dear sleep , I kow we had problems when I was younger but I love you now.

   Don't you just love how all the Casino billboards get you excited to spend your money then at the bottom of them all they give you the gambler's addiction #... Thats like me putting up a Billboard for a Heroin Party n giving you the # to the cops...

   Kindness is just love with its workboots on.