flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   i am starting a go-fund-me page to gave a giraffe a c-section

   OK WHO NEEDS MOVING BOXES?

   it took me 8 months to teach thee tubby one to say row

   Math quiz! If I have 1 boss and she has 4 personalities. How much should I spend on her x-mas present ?

   Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.

   this fat free dinner taste like sadness!

   Sometimes the wine glass is just a waste of time

   Are you soft Kitty or smelly cat?

   yes I have a dirty mind, and you are in it…

   I got health insurance again! I get to go to a english speaking doctor

   ‎2013 is the chinese year of the snake. I hope I can quit putting dragon on my checks

   Super creepy Rob Lowe and I are going to kick Rob Lowes ass

   think comcast went back to dial up today...... just saying

   my dinner taste like lazyness and the day before payday!

   marry the 1st girl who unhooks it for you! She hates to see you struggle

   I hate waiting in lines. I wish this lady would hurry up and pick a suspect already."

   its saturday and cartoons are on!

   any body else going to grab a six pack order a pizza and watch the GOP convention?

   somedays my inner child kinda runs the place

   i am taking the pit bull and the points in the puppy bowl