XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now & then...

   Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

   A furniture for my mother in law's birthday??? Thank you honey... I think coffin just sounds right...

   Mom: What does “WTF” stand for? Child: "Well That`s Fantastic!"

   A: I forgot my glasses, I can't read sh*t! B: You're not supposed to read sh*t, you're supposed to read books… Unless you're a Twilight fan. Then you read sh*t!

   If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return for refund Mondays...

   30 years ago today, "Licensed to Ill" was the #1 Album...

   I must need glasses because everywhere I look, people seem to have two faces!

   Normal people are the crazy psychos who hide it very well!

   Oh WoW! You've dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Really? How brave!!!.... Now…I'll have a number 3, no cheese, extra Jalapenos and diet Pepsi to go…

   If all men are pigs and they are all the same, then why does it take so damn long for women to choose one?

   No babe, don't send me the nude pictures. Send me a picture of your medicine cabinet. I'd like to know what kind of psycho I'm dealing with...

   Ladies: Never die a virgin! Apparently when you get to heaven a virgin you get to be one of the 70 wives of a suicide bomber…

   "Are you athletic?" .. "Yeah I surf.....the internet"

   “Happy New Year 2000! Have a fantastic year, and successful 2000!” - New York Alzheimer's Society

   I'm pro-choice on every social issue...Simply because it is none of my business how others choose to live their lives. We're only responsible on decisions we make.

   If you need space then work at NASA

   A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. All you do is play games...

   Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!

   Some women should realize that they've lost the moon while trying to count the stars…