Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   Two things some people can't live without, God and the internet, are everywhere and all-knowing. But only one of them gives you naked woman anytime you want.

   It's hard for me to take the things you say seriously when I know what's been in that mouth of yours.

   has pants that say Snickers on them because they are packed with nuts and they always satisfy.

   Bert and Ernie are a perfect closeted TV couple. You are not sure they are gay, but you can't prove they aren't.

   Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

   went to a carnival trying to win an X-box Kinect and the next thing he knew , he'd lost his entire life savings and all he had to show for it was a giant banana with dreadlocks.

   a girl called me once and said come over, nobody is home! I went there and she was right, nobody was home

   feels sorry every summer for anyone named Eve.

   hanging out with his friends Mike Rotch and Jenny Talia.

   used to go to random weddings back in the day just to put a picture of his junk on every disposable camera.

   fights so dirty, he has never had makeup sex. It usually violates the restraining order.

   too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.

   prepared to kiss you whether you are Irish or not.

   completely worn out after spending the whole weekend at a genital jamboree.

   has an easy solution for anyone who hasn't been laid in a long time - conjugal visits.

   likes to start every first date by saying "If this goes well, we might have a baby in 9 months".

   came down with an incredibly bad case of Leprechaunorrhea last year so he is going to behave himself today!!!

   Sex on a cruise ship means the ocean does all the work. Ocean sex rules!!! Go to hell land sex!!!

   when you're stressed, you eat Ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is Desserts.

   had an affair with a teacher once. Made sweet music in the band room, poetry during English class and you don't even want to know what we did in the multipurpose room.