Jbabcock Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if Tom from Myspace ever gets lonely and browses Facebook for friends.

   I just heard Alicia Silverstone had a son and named it Bear Blu. Now I wonder if it's mere coincidence that she starred in Clueless.

   After watching Star Wars for the thousanth time I noticed Chewbacca is always wearing a purse. Now I wonder if he was actually a sidekick or the "competion" for Princess Leia

   The Press is going on and on about how Beyonce has bared her "Baby Bump".Apparently she was successful in getting f*cked.Big Whoop! All the other members of Destiny's Child got f*cked a long time ago.

   One way to piss a Twilight fan off is to plainly tell them it's about a Sick Girl struggling to choose between her fetish for the dead and her weird thing for animals.

   Sadly there comes a day in every Father/Son Relationship where your son asserts himself by simply saying "No thank you" when you say "Pull my finger".

   Whoever said "It's what's on the inside that counts the most" never met my ex and experienced how full of sh!t she is.

   Amazingly after a dozen bottles of Dos Equis EVERY man thinks he is the "Most Interesting Man in the World."

   Bank of America puts the "fun" in overfunded bailout money receivers.

   ¡¡¡ ʎɐʍʎuɐ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ llǝʍ ˙pǝxıɟ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇǝƃ ɐʇʇoƃ ı ʍou ʇnq ʇuǝsǝɹd ɐ noʎ ʇǝƃ oʇ ʎǝuoɯ ɐɹʇxǝ ǝɯos pɐɥ ı ˙ʎppnq ʎɹɹos

   I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes!...*sigh* this "Psyching Yourself Out" theory is bull$hit!

   Putting a friends name on your status update box on accident while searching for them is pretty funny for all your friends and family to see. Unless your friend is a Porn Site.

   If I ever Google "things to eat in my fridge" and list is correct thats when I'll really be impressed with Google Earth.

   When I was a boy all I ever wanted was super sized tree house and a Jetson style Jetpack. But then my desires became more grown up over the years and now all I want is some dancing Hamsters from the Kia Soul commercials

   My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."

   Women use their purses as a way to "mark" their territory while shoppin. They make us men hold their purses . I don't care if your Arnold Schwarzenegger, you look like a doofus holding your wifes purse outside a Fashion Barn dressing room.

   I'm so exhausted from work that I actually tried to use "The Force" to get the remote to come to me. When it didn't work I used the old Jedi Mind Trick sayin "These arent the droids your looking for give me the remote". My son did while rollin his eyes.

   The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.

   I've decided that my years of experience as a Nurse will help me become a millionaire. I've designed a new adult diaper which is as comfortable as a huggie and is made from Sham Wow fabric. I'm calling it "The Sham Pooey".

   Referring back to one of my earlier posts I'm pretty sure I could eat a couple of bowls of Alpha-Bits Cereal and poop out better Rap Lyrics than what's in most Soulja Boy Rap Songs.