Bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   You know your in the south when you can get your fried chicken and gas at the same store...

   I have all these kung-fu skills and no ninjas too fight...I'm starting too think I'm living in the wrong city....

   Lazy Rule #227- I only buy Peanut Butter & Jelly when its swirled together cuz I aint got no time for all that two jar sh*t...

   I gots to say nothing turns me on more then looking at some of these pics on facebook of these chicks flippin the bird....I mean its so dang sexy...Its the kinda pic you can show your grandkids and tell them thats how you fell for their grandma..

   Its sad that at a certain point some peoples promises just start too sound like Charlie Brown's Teacher..."Wah wah wah wah wah wah"

   Just remember nobody's perfect...Cuz i'm sure even Mother Teresa blamed her fart on a kid or two...

   Oh snap if gas gets below $3 a gallon looks like I can start dating girls out side my city limits....Whoop Whoop

   So if Justin Bieber has his own cologne...I def think its about time I came up with one of my own..Not sure what too call it tho..They say you should name it after things you like..So I am really leaning toward naming it "Ode to BoobiesVajayjayNinjaFight"

   They truly don't make movies like they use too...When I was a kid movies had values, morals and ethics...And without these great movies how would I have ever known that I "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"...

   I bet people in jail don't use scented body wash...Cuz the last thing you want is some dude rolling up on you talking bout, "Sniff sniff...You smell like Cherry Fruit Passion".....

   Satisfied isnt her telling you how great you were afterwards....Satisfied is her being unable too speak afterwards...I Do Work Son!!

   A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...heheheehe...I said bush:)

   If you gotta ask her "Does this feel good??" you aint doin it right....

   Man Law #236: Unless you last name is "Van Damme" grown a$$ men don't do the splits...

   They say Hard times don't last forever...So someone might wanna tell Hard times that :/

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   Sometimes when I'm bored I take red and blue M&Ms and walk up to random people...And try too convince them that one of them will get'em out the Matrix.....

   Yowers...You know the way she keeps trying to Double Dare me...I'm think she's wants to Take the Physical Challenge

   Bryan Brown ‎"Can I see your phone??" SURE.. Just don't look in my contacts.... or my texts... or my pics.. or my videos... or my.. you know what just give me my damn phone back.. #Mr.Brown

   I think I need a catch phrase after sex...Something like "You've just been blessed!!" or "And now you know...And knowing is half the battle!!" or my personal favorite "Shazaam!!"