flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon This world is not going to make any real progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."
←Rate | 04-09-2011 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you get married try walking with your partner through IKEA. If you don't end up in an argument, you're good to go.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do #26: Stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
←Rate | 07-14-2015 22:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go to the train station and make eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it it while yelling "I LOVE YOU!"
←Rate | 03-06-2013 07:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that people who start a sentence with, "I know it's none of my business," never leave it at that.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People will stop making small talk with you if you simply wear clown makeup whenever you're out in public.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 06:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 05:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out
←Rate | 05-03-2011 12:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't remember if the toilet water was blue or not before I sat down, so there's a chance I'm magical.
←Rate | 09-21-2011 20:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No I didn't watch the VMA. I was unaware MTV EVEN showed music videos anymore
←Rate | 08-29-2011 06:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon f you feel sad, remember: There are people out there right now buying last-minute Christmas presents for their cats.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 08:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When cats and dogs finally rise up against us, the first thing they'll do is strap Santa hats to our heads and take pictures.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 06:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I'm getting tired of running and he's catching up to me
←Rate | 12-19-2011 14:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can listen to Phil Collins "In the air tonight" and not play the air drums, then you my friend have no soul!
←Rate | 06-20-2011 06:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to Stop Cyber Bullying: 1. Close your laptop 2. You Win!!
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone ever texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from state farm"
←Rate | 05-22-2013 06:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When at a meeting when the boss says "anyone have any suggestions?" Don't say "inappropriate touch Tuesday"...trust me
←Rate | 06-15-2011 17:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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