Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 05:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry Kanye, but you can't name your baby North West, then call yourself a "creative genius."
←Rate | 10-10-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna and Johnny Depp seem completely unaware they aren't British
←Rate | 02-27-2014 07:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon courage turns quickly into fear when you attempt to kill a cockroach and it flies.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 02:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
←Rate | 06-01-2014 06:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what are we being offended by today? Sorry I missed the morning briefing.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 14:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I've watched Shrek every night this week and I still cannot find any clues as to how Donkey impregnated the dragon.
←Rate | 03-10-2019 14:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just keep telling myself you guys don't have sex either.
←Rate | 06-06-2017 02:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only have two feelings, it's either "I'm hungry" or "I shouldn't have eaten this much"
←Rate | 11-06-2013 07:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stevie Wonder's housekeepers probably don't do a damn thing all day long.
←Rate | 05-24-2013 12:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I use words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 14:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
←Rate | 05-30-2013 13:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon iOS 9 will be out by the time iOS 8 finishes downloading
←Rate | 09-17-2014 13:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am sorry I had feelings. I'll replace them with jokes right away.
←Rate | 09-24-2014 08:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 16:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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