Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 25

   messageicon I am sorry I had feelings. I'll replace them with jokes right away.
←Rate | 09-24-2014 08:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be with someone who isn't crazy but unfortunately I'm only attracted to women.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 00:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 00:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon twerking just shaking your ass? Why did we need a new word? Ass-shaking has served us well for centuries.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 11:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of stuff coming out of this woman's handbag as she searched for her keys, I wouldn't be surprised if that missing Malaysian plane is in there too.
←Rate | 05-30-2014 01:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bottle of wine and I still have feelings. Time for whiskey.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
←Rate | 07-22-2013 13:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just seen a picture of Rihanna fully dressed. Man these hackers don't sleep.
←Rate | 09-05-2014 09:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We've never met or spoken in person, so why should I be offended by your worthless opinion internet stranger?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 10:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor says I'm morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 23:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She says she is surprised to see me but her drawn eyebrows tell a different story.
←Rate | 03-17-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my kids don't even believe how cool I was in the 90s.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's vultures circling around my sex life.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 14:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 10:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most interesting thing about me is my lack of interest.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing screams I need to get laid like screaming I need to get laid!
←Rate | 05-09-2016 12:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I suggest we eat pizza and someone says something stupid like "No, I had pizza yesterday," I just nod like I understand, but inside my head I have murdered the person a thousand times.
←Rate | 01-04-2017 08:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left