santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 78

   messageicon The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sorry about your dress." "Sorry about the nudity." "Sorry I kept calling your wife sir." - Me, the day after the office Christmas party.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon me: [listening to The Twelve Days of Christmas] "no person wants this many birds"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is always stressful for my family but I refuse to stop giving my brother's wives bras
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so mad at my parents when I found out Santa wasn’t real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:44 by Rickster Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know what I’m getting for Christmas …Yeah that's right, Fat. I’m getting fat.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 07:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am trying to get into the Christmas "spirit" but can't get the bottle open...
←Rate | 12-05-2019 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What flavor vape oil are you leaving out for Santa this year?
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to know what rhymes with "Hug me" Love, Robin Thicke
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW TO WRAP PRESENTS: - Ask somebody else to wrap presents
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas tree by the lines of duct tape around the box it's stored in.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm 45 and I would still be tickled pink to wake up Christmas morning to a Barbie Dream House with accessories.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The holidays are always tough on me.... One year for Christmas , I made a gingerbread house that wasn't up to code & it collapsed on a tiny, little gingerbread family. Still haunts me.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [a cat sitting in the sleigh impassively knocking presents out into the Pacific Ocean] Rudolph: Santa Claws, NO
←Rate | 12-05-2019 05:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.
←Rate | 12-04-2019 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One Christmas eve, Santa was under a lot of stress. When an angel walk in with a tree and ask what he should do with the tree was how the tradition got started.
←Rate | 12-01-2019 23:48 Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left