santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
←Rate | 12-09-2017 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once again this year, Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.
←Rate | 12-09-2017 16:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Xmas idea: let your child watch Chucky, then explain Elf on the Shelf
←Rate | 12-09-2017 15:12 by TD Comments (1)  


   messageicon Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
←Rate | 12-09-2017 08:36 by UncleBubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon By useing earbuds it gave me alot of practice to un-tangling a string of Christmas lights
←Rate | 12-04-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Santa, have you been working out? It sure shows. By the way, I love the new work flow plan you've established for the elves. Very efficient!" - Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer
←Rate | 12-02-2017 09:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon christmas has been cancelled this year due to santa being fired for inappropriate behavior by asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 12:24 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon breaking news... sorry folks, christmas has been cancelled due to santa being fired for asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 10:33 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon R. M. Was turned down on his offer to play santa at an all girls middle school.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 00:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus
←Rate | 11-26-2017 07:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a new Christmas Tree today. The shop owner said to me, "Are you going to put that up yourself?", "No" I replied, "I was thinking to put it in the Lounge!"
←Rate | 11-20-2017 05:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With Christmas just around the corner, it's important to remember to never trust electronics buying advice from people who have Beats headphones.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 09:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween is over time to put up the Christmas decorations.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!
←Rate | 10-10-2017 13:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's October...Which means it's time for people to put up the Christmas decorations they took down in July.
←Rate | 10-08-2017 11:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:26 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......
←Rate | 04-16-2017 11:08 Comments (0)  




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