santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I was going to wish merry christmas to all of the women that accused Trump of groping but I cant find them.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 08:49 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Evidently Cheering and doing play by play while my wife is wrapping presents wasn't the help she was looking for.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 05:24 by Richard fitzgrald Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember ladys, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.
←Rate | 12-23-2016 08:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's a list of my favourite xmas carols.
←Rate | 12-22-2016 13:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!
←Rate | 12-22-2016 12:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..
←Rate | 12-21-2016 18:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care what you say. Arbor Day and Christmas are cousins.
←Rate | 12-21-2016 08:34 by Tree Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!
←Rate | 12-19-2016 18:28 by jcgj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just found out that my wife is actually Mrs. Santa Claus!! At least that's what my kids tell me.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 09:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-18-2016 07:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon NOTICE: To the people who have flashing blue and red Christmas lights in their yard.....can you remove them, please? Every time I pass by, I think it is the cops and I have to remove my foot from the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seatbelt on, throw my p
←Rate | 12-17-2016 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body ... And please don't get it backwards like you did last year!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yup.... No matter how old you are .... an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube will always become a Star Wars light saber.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Media is now reporting that Christmas is actually a Russian plot hatched by Putin & Trump to lure people into a false sense of Joy. They are urging that we reject any feelings of joy and focus on being angry at the 2016 Election results.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 00:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list,, or his “naughty” list,, Just ask Russia,,, and they'll just hack it for you.
←Rate | 12-16-2016 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bought all of my Christmas gifts really early this year, Hope everyone likes Halloween costumes
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:37 Comments (0)  

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