sully Funny Status Messages

   In honor of MLK: I'm going to wash my whites and colors together today.....

   BREAKING: NY Jets trade Kellen Winslow for Pee Wee Herman...

   Twas the morning before Christmas & all across Facebook, friends awake, houses aglitter. Coffee in hand pondering this day & the things that matter.....

   Drunk driving, sniffing cocaine, smoking crack, eating p ussy, drinking on the job, rendezvous with prostitutes...All in a days work for Toronto's mayor!!

   Rob Ford is slowly becoming one of the greatest Canadians of all time....

   Only thing Obama tried to fix today was the 2014 elections.....

   Shorter Obama: "if you go dumpster diving behind your insurance company and you find your old plan and they say you can keep it. Period!!

   I burn 95% of my calories removing gray and unwanted hairs from my head, face, ears and nose and the other 5% flipping people off while I'm driving......

   In honor of 11/12/13..... I will buy beer for any 11, 12 and 13 year olds that ask me.

   I'm late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-6. I'm thankful for boobs

   In the Toronto mayor's defense it was maple syrup flavored crack...

   It seems so much later then it actually is.....

   Breaking news: Barack Obama Unaware He Was Elected President. “I never knew & nobody told me” said Obama.......

   Can't believe 60 Minutes did a whole report on Benghazi w/out interviewing the jerk who's anti-Islam movie got some many people killed...

   Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn't work...

   Rams Call List: 1. B̶r̶e̶t̶t̶ ̶F̶a̶v̶r̶e̶, 2. T̶e̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶B̶r̶a̶d̶s̶h̶a̶w̶, ..., 77. Jim Everett, 78. Corpse of Johnny Unitas, 79. Tim Tebow

   If we eat, we die. If we don't eat, we die. I choose death by chocolate....

   I tried Obama's 1-800 number...... It's is a disaster too. Your best bet is to stuff an ObamaCare application into a bottle and throw it in the ocean.

   Once was a man named BARACK, EVERYTHING he said was a CROCK, He talked with a SMILE as he LIED all the while...."OBAMACARE'S Great! Ask your DOC"

   My Facebook wasn't working this morning, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people....