huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:14 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
←Rate | 02-11-2015 05:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who have permission to call me honey, sugar or sweetie: 1. Truck stop waitresses 2. That’s it
←Rate | 02-08-2015 06:13 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.
←Rate | 02-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not going to judge you if you don't like football because of whatever moronic reason you think you have in your clueless head.
←Rate | 01-26-2015 07:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I save time by showing up at my doctor's appointment already wearing a paper gown
←Rate | 01-25-2015 06:04 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop
←Rate | 01-24-2015 06:16 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: Dogs don't like when you pet their fur in the wrong direction because it exposes the tribal tattoos they got in college
←Rate | 01-23-2015 12:25 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make introductions
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jerk store called. *removes hat* I'm afraid there's been an accident.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:16 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't see color." - A person who shouldn't eat snow
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Detectives, we have a grisly murder whose investigation will be most likely result in being killed. Who's one day away from retirement?"
←Rate | 12-27-2014 06:54 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't say anything nice, at least be vague with a touch of sarcasm, so you can share it with your friends behind their back later
←Rate | 12-26-2014 06:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo if you’re brave enough.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 08:19 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do medications always have side effects like 'anal leakage' & 'suicidal thoughts'? Why not 'invisibility' or 'spontaneous orgasms'?
←Rate | 12-12-2014 05:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon "OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"
←Rate | 12-06-2014 07:01 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there's something seriously wrong with Eeyore
←Rate | 12-06-2014 06:57 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
←Rate | 11-29-2014 20:13 by huck Comments (0)  



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