Scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think I'm going to have my OCD support group meeting at my home today. If nothing else, at least my house will get cleaned...
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really want a Klondike Bar, but I'm fresh out of ideas......
←Rate | 03-27-2011 08:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear cellphone companies: please invent a "unsend my text" option
←Rate | 03-13-2011 21:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon If time is money, then I'm running out of time very quickly
←Rate | 03-12-2011 20:45 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Firetrucks & ambulances would be far more effective if they were to replace that annoying siren with the song "Move B*tch" by Ludacris
←Rate | 03-11-2011 08:46 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should have known that I had to much to drink tonight because I left the door open the whole time I was peeing. It might not sound that bad, but when you're driving 65 mph, it can cause all kinds of problems..
←Rate | 03-10-2011 23:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 09:27 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say talking to yourself is a sign of mental illness. So I talk to the cat instead.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 22:24 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about going out tonight, because after all, the Beastie Boys DID fight for my right to party....
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:09 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to thank Jesus of Nazareth for the good deal I got on my tires and Jesus of Guatemala for the speedy service.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 09:02 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon If before every major life decision, people would just say "What would Charlie Sheen do?"...The world would be so much more interesting....
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber takes his relationship with Selena Gomez public. I think that it is so sweet that he's pretending to like girls....
←Rate | 03-02-2011 16:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what it is that you're doing to make it appear as if you're really stupid, but whatever it is, it's really working
←Rate | 03-02-2011 13:28 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always keep several Get Well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 20:19 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooked on Phonics werked fer me :-)
←Rate | 02-28-2011 12:53 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess it time to test my theory that Vodka (being alcohol) should kill the flu virus.......
←Rate | 02-26-2011 12:59 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you have to stick your finger in a few before you find the one that's right for you....
←Rate | 02-23-2011 13:12 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just picked out a Valentines Card from the Ben Roethlisberger collection. It came with a roofy, two advil for the day after and a do-it-yourself police report..
←Rate | 02-10-2011 16:55 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to take this time to thank everyone for our VICTORY against global warming. Well done, everyone, well done.......
←Rate | 02-10-2011 00:00 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so cold that I decided to start my own non-profit today. It's called PETAELG. That's People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals with the Exception of Lying Groundhogs
←Rate | 02-09-2011 13:56 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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