KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you can't be manipulated, you're not in love.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 09:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol + Taylor Swift + Drugs = Ke$ha
←Rate | 03-23-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always tell people how fat I am. Then they tell me I'm not and I feel better about myself. - MOST WOMEN
←Rate | 03-23-2013 07:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
←Rate | 03-21-2013 13:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a Caveman I would have masturbated in front of a T-Rex just to make him jealous!
←Rate | 03-21-2013 08:32 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon This girl told me that she likes men who know long words. So, I told her how ammaazzzziiiinnnggg she was.
←Rate | 03-21-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 14:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gangsters in skinny jeans and tight tees? Where do they keep their guns, drug paraphernalia... and food stamps?
←Rate | 03-17-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; don’t get mad when guys stare at your boobs because there is going to be a time in the future when no guy will want to look at your boobs after time has had its way with them and they now look like raisins.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The opposite of Viagr a is marriage!
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You without me is like a Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:32 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon How many slutty and nude pics did it take you to get that many friend requests?
←Rate | 03-12-2013 11:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear one day I'm going to wake up with my phone shoved up my ass and divorce papers scattered around me.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best way to realize if you have a stupid idea is to consider who agrees with it and who doesn't.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't steal things you don't need or want, like hearts.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only decisions I like to make are at the liquor store.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 09:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s plenty of fish in the sea.. I just suck at fishing.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do not put a party hat on a cat. They are seldom in a party mood.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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