Jeremycakes Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Behind every successful man is a woman. She's behind him because he's running away from the crazy b1tch as fast as he can.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:26 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be afraid to fart in front of my new girlfriend. But today I just decided to let a big one go. She didn't mind. Her dad however was disgusted. The rest of the people at the funeral weren't too pleased either.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 16:09 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why the FCC is always complaining about sex on tv. A little sex on tv never hurt anyone.....unless you fall off.
←Rate | 07-17-2010 11:55 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canada has never made and weapons of mass destruction. We don't need them. Canada has poutine and Justin Beiber. If we make our enemies eat poutine and listen to some Beiber cds, we'll do more damage to thier arteries and eardrums than WMD's ever could.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 09:34 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had dinner with Cheech and Chong earlier. It was great! But those brownies we had for dessert tasted kind of strange.
←Rate | 07-10-2010 18:34 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a beer! I need another beer. I think I'll have another one. Iguetss jusst on moer. I'lll hav jush one morrrre. Blaaaahhhh.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 21:12 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was talking to my friends Tom and Dave and they said " hey, do you know Doug has two a$$holes"? I said "What???" They said "It's true. Today we were walking with Doug and we heard somebody say 'Look, there's Doug.With those two a$$holes'"
←Rate | 07-03-2010 15:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Osama Bin Laden has updated his facebook status. The FBI has left the afganistan/Pakistan border and is now searching for him in Farmville.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 18:59 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the body.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 21:11 by jeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a spider. And I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could.
←Rate | 06-17-2010 08:36 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God didn't think humility was important, he would have put the prostate somewhere else.
←Rate | 05-22-2010 10:47 by jeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody know how to calm down a 5 year old who's high on 3 bowls of Sugar Crisp? HELP!!!
←Rate | 05-15-2010 07:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cherish your dreams ,as they are the children of your soul,the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
←Rate | 05-14-2010 20:50 by JeremyCakes Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am sensing a great disturbance in the force. A disturbance I havn't felt since Darth W Bush was in office. I fear the new sith lord Darth Pelosi is starting trouble.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 14:08 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better to have loved and lost.........than to have stayed with the witch.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 15:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the nany for about 40 minutes until they kicked me out. Turns out the poop deck isn't what I thought it was. Man were they angry.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:24 by JeremyCakes Comments (1)  


   messageicon A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender" I'll have..........a beer." The bartender says" What's with the huge pause?" The bear shrugs and says "I was born with them".
←Rate | 04-21-2010 17:59 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the good old days before reality tv when you actually needed talent to be a celiberty. Hey Spencer and Heidi, I'm looking in your direction! And lets not forget you Mss Tequila!
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:23 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people repost statuses. By the way, I'm gathering rocks to throw at you.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:00 by JeremyCakes Comments (5)  


   messageicon A guy hears his wife's voice from the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner my love? chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." she yells back, "You're having soup you jerk! I was talking to the cat!"
←Rate | 04-13-2010 18:53 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  




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