Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because I love fishing.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 21:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every fad becomes a punchline. We build things up jus to knock them down.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 21:32 by Cicci Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was super lazy today. It’s like regular lazy but I wear a cape.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 19:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How could remember remember kissing that Gargoyle, Trump? It's an entirely forgettable experience.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 17:20 Comments (1)  

   messageicon D's promises are as worthless as one of his university degrees
←Rate | 02-21-2018 16:48 by 25the45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife says I'm the kind of person she has to warn people about in advance and apologize for afterwords.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 09:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why people with hundreds of friends on FB are spending their time on FB and not with one of them instead
←Rate | 02-21-2018 03:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon RelationSHIPS sink when they have too many passengers
←Rate | 02-21-2018 03:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves
←Rate | 02-21-2018 03:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being lazier right now than the guy who designed the Japanese flag
←Rate | 02-21-2018 03:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Worlds shortest joke- "Two women are sitting quietly"
←Rate | 02-21-2018 03:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If April showers bring may flowers. What does mayflowers bring? Pilgrims
←Rate | 02-21-2018 01:38 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
←Rate | 02-21-2018 01:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wife asked if I could pick up milk on the way home, so I flexed both arms to reassure her
←Rate | 02-20-2018 22:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Origami was invented by a guy who kept running out of toilet paper
←Rate | 02-20-2018 22:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a cop shoots a thug everyone blames the person. When a kid shoots a school, everyone blames the gun...
←Rate | 02-20-2018 22:17 Comments (17)  

   messageicon so..when a cop arrests a mentally I'll person does that mean their busting a nut???
←Rate | 02-20-2018 19:58 by SEAN Comments (1)  

   messageicon Hey, I know. Let's make it real hard for people to murder other people.
←Rate | 02-20-2018 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This program has been brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka. Smirnoff...soon to be the official drink of the USA.
←Rate | 02-20-2018 15:22 Comments (2)  

   messageicon I helped a little old lady with a new 60 in. TV cross the road this afternoon. The guy in the car next to me even joined in as we honked our horns repeatedly.
←Rate | 02-20-2018 14:37 by MDS Comments (0)  

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