Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Maybe when the stuff was going down at the Capitol on Wednesday, the Government should have sent in Social Workers instead of the police.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are three sides to every argument: Your side, the other person's side, and the correct side.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lost my watch at a party once.An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party.Infuriated, I immediately went over,punched him in the face and broke his nose.No one does that to a woman,not on my watch
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:43 by Steve Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm just thankful that the trump supporters didn't do anything really stupid, like kneel at a football game.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I still can't believe some people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:22 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  

   messageicon While walking outside a random lady walks up to me. Her: No mask? Me: No underwear either.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:21 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  

   messageicon Big game at the Capitol - Patriots vs the Stealers.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 05:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember when our biggest fear in 2019 was lettuce?
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Aides from inside the White House are saying that Trump seems verydespondent today. Even a hand-job from his daughter did not seem to cheer him up this morning.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know, for a traitor to God and Country, Kaleigh Mceanany is kinda hot.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the 7-Day Free Trial and I'm not interested.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 07:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I post something that you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 04:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well it was a solid 5 days. Here's to 2022! 🥂
←Rate | 01-06-2021 23:28 by SMS Comments (0)  

   messageicon And just like that, the left support police officers.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 19:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once again. Today is a day of reflection. Don't say a word. Just sit here and fully take in the hypocrisy, double standards, privilege & unequal energies that truly go on in this country day in & day out. It's crystal clear.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 18:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This $600 causing problems already. My cousin drove by here real slow. And I only owe him $
←Rate | 01-06-2021 16:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hope all of you who received a book from me for Christmas thoroughly enjoy them! Oh and don't forget they need to be back the library by the 30th.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 15:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow, the hypocrisy is running DEEP AF right now! Wheres all my blue lives matter people at? Oh yeah, attacking the Capitol. My bad
←Rate | 01-06-2021 15:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Prefer to do socially distance exchange and will place in front of house for you pickup. Leave money in neighbor's mailbox.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:42 by Moon Comments (0)  

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