Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If you people truly believe we're in danger then you are a f-ing moron.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 18:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Windmill noise causes cancer? I learn something new everyday.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 15:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Want to know the secret to happiness? Deactivate your Facebook account like people used to take the phone off the hook.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 13:50 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon 80% of corporate employees are suffering from AIDS ? Appraisal & Increment Deficiency Syndrome
←Rate | 04-03-2019 12:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Crazy how people are more worried about getting Avocados then drugs and trafficing
←Rate | 04-03-2019 10:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey, little regular fry in with my curly fries. Just be yourself, buddy.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 07:17 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  

   messageicon Survival Tip - If you get lost in the woods start talking politics and someone will show up to argue with you...
←Rate | 04-02-2019 21:41 by @txfunpolice Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies If your going to cut off all your hair and go bald just give us a warning. I'm sitting here wondering when did I add this dude on my profile page?
←Rate | 04-02-2019 15:21 by Jentryman Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score! WooHoo!
←Rate | 04-02-2019 07:14 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only when mosquito lands on your testicles, do you truly learn to solve problems without violence.
←Rate | 04-01-2019 23:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to repeal something, please for the love of God don't replace it with nothing!
←Rate | 04-01-2019 14:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I think I'm an intelligent person and other times I want to get married.
←Rate | 04-01-2019 12:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you ever noticed how much weight a chicken can gain and it never shows on their faces ?
←Rate | 04-01-2019 12:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife went to a shady oral surgeon for implants and now her teeth are 36D's!
←Rate | 04-01-2019 12:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finally got around to filling out my bracket yesterday and guess what? perfect bracket so far
←Rate | 04-01-2019 08:26 by Smeebert Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't always have time to Spring Clean, but when I do, I Don't!
←Rate | 03-31-2019 09:12 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't usually get asked out by women, but when I do it's usually on the first of April.
←Rate | 03-31-2019 06:33 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you believe everything is a conspiracy theory, blame 8t on psychosis.
←Rate | 03-30-2019 14:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why is everyone working out? is there a war coming that I don't know about?
←Rate | 03-30-2019 12:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Digital world explained simply. Earlier -First thing in the morning - Toothpaste. Now -First thing in the morning - Copy Paste.
←Rate | 03-30-2019 11:26 Comments (0)  

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