Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Gross thought of the day... Vienna sausage juice.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 20:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What does a day old donut have in common with Betty White? A. They're both pretty dry when you eat them.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 19:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll bet that hookers calculate their profits and losses by using a spread sheet.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb they dont know they are still in the dark.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happens when you cross a Democrat with a pig ..come on now some things even a pig wont do ..
←Rate | 11-14-2017 16:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Name something to be thankful for this Thankgiving mine is that Hillary is not my POTUS
←Rate | 11-14-2017 15:57 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Kaepernick looks like a throw back 60 panther model on the GQ magazine
←Rate | 11-14-2017 14:15 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Kaepernick is just looks like an idiot ..guess he is just as bad a GQ model as he is QB
←Rate | 11-14-2017 14:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a Democrat passenger, you get free parking in the handicap zone.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 04:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why should Libs be buried 100 feet deep? Because deep down, they're really good people.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 04:12 Comments (2)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish? One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom feeder and the other one is a fish.
←Rate | 11-14-2017 04:11 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Reporter: “Will you send aid to those affected by the earthquake in Iraq? Trump: Help out Isis No
←Rate | 11-13-2017 23:01 by CaroJR Comments (0)  


   messageicon My NRA firearms Instructor beats your demo rapist movie producer or former President
←Rate | 11-13-2017 22:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mechanic couldnt fix my breaks so he put in a louder horn.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 12:55 by Chencho Comments (1)  


   messageicon A friend is typing..........A friend is typing.........A friend is typing..........A friend is typing..........A friend is typing.......A friend is typing.........A friend is typing........A friend is typing...........A friend is typing......... Hey!
←Rate | 11-13-2017 10:53 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I lived through Obama. You'll live through Trump.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 08:40 Comments (7)  


   messageicon I don't need anger management. I need for people to stop pissing me off.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don't run into anyone you know.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 05:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:40 Comments (3)  


   messageicon The Hero who shot the Texas church shooter was a NRA Certified Instructor armed with an AR15.
←Rate | 11-13-2017 04:39 Comments (0)  



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