Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 4 of 6369

   messageicon All my post were removed, because someone took A Fence
←Rate | 03-09-2024 12:58 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm already losing an hour on Sunday for daylight savings time. No way in hell am I losing more by watching the Oscars!
←Rate | 03-08-2024 20:47 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Sunday, Daylight Saving Time begins. We don't save any daylight. It gets stolen from the morning and is given to the evening. Daylight Stealing Time.
←Rate | 03-08-2024 18:27 by Mickey-F Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somebody ripped a page out of my new 2024 calendar! I'm disMayed!
←Rate | 03-08-2024 11:13 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid, before Facebook, I remember when taking the time out and having to stare at a wall was considered a punishment.
←Rate | 03-07-2024 21:36 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone else buy bananas that are not only a great source of fiber and vitamins but can also help maintain a healthy heart just to watch them die a slow and miserable death sitting on your counter?
←Rate | 03-07-2024 21:31 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm thinking about taking up Meditation. It's better than sitting around doing nothing.
←Rate | 03-07-2024 16:00 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon Told my Cat I was going to teach him English today....He looked up and said... Me? How?
←Rate | 03-06-2024 19:42 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Grief Counselor died today. He was so good.. I don't even care!
←Rate | 03-06-2024 19:39 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 11:53 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you hate it when you start treating someone like they treat you and they suddenly think you're an asshole?
←Rate | 03-06-2024 10:06 by @ttmichael09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 08:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon In a reel-ationship
←Rate | 03-04-2024 11:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey. If owls are so smart, how come they don't say, 'whom'?
←Rate | 03-04-2024 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do Priests delivering Mass use their Altar ego ?
←Rate | 03-03-2024 07:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I finally realized it... People are prisoners of their phones. That's why they are called cell phones.
←Rate | 03-03-2024 05:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Flexibility is essential for mind stability
←Rate | 03-02-2024 10:33 by GG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm off to the park to laugh at all the joggers.
←Rate | 03-02-2024 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet
←Rate | 02-29-2024 21:32 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.
←Rate | 02-29-2024 12:28 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

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