Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I think Stephen Hawking would be alive today if his family had called an ambulance and not taken him to PC World?
←Rate | 06-21-2018 04:54 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon The one good thing about an egotist. They don't talk about other people.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 23:12 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you know you don't need a parachute to skydive? You only need a parachute if you want to skydive twice...
←Rate | 06-20-2018 23:03 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just because family separation worked for the Trumps, doesn’t mean it’s good for everyone else.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:38 Comments (8)  

   messageicon The only people that should be in cages are strippers.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How long until we find out these tents and cages are made by Trump or a friend of his?
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon BREAKING: Trump considering growing a funny little mustache.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you thought innocent children being locked up in cages was bad, just wait until you find out they’re only allowed to watch Fox News.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Womp womp." -Judge sentencing Corey Lewandowski to prison
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 'Womp womp' will be the sound Corey Lewandowski's butt will be making in prison after the Mueller investigation wraps up.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never imagined we’d reach a point where we’d wish Donald Trump would just build his wall instead.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tender Age Shelter sounds like something spray painted onto a van parked outside of a grade school while the owner offers kids free candy.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Rudy Giuliani gets a divorce in New York, are he and his wife still cousins?
←Rate | 06-20-2018 19:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been hard at work all day today. I accidentally took a viagra pill in stead of my vitamin this morning.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 18:52 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Half my Facebook friends have just become immigration lawyers within the past week!
←Rate | 06-20-2018 18:04 by JeffW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Korean scientists have announced that have successfully cloned two Macaques! It's impossible to tell them apart..said one of the monkeys!!
←Rate | 06-20-2018 16:01 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon So whats are you all doing tonight? - Using social networking for what its intended for.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 15:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never go to bed with ugly women. But somehow I wake up with them.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 14:48 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the circus freaks of the future will be the incredible non-tattooed man!
←Rate | 06-20-2018 13:35 by dj Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is a thin line between hating a person’s behavior with hating the actual person.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 08:28 Comments (1)  

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