doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon thankful that Anthony Weiner's last name wasnt 'Butthole'.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 21:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or did anyone else notice that Bob Marley never looked like a "Bob."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 21:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about using exclamation marks is that no one knows how sad you are!!!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 12:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I love best about sex with a married woman is wiping myself off with her husband's clean underwear!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 12:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hangover feels like someone is screaming at me in German.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 12:57 by doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish someone would cast Mel Gibson and Tracy Morgan in a buddy action flick about a crime fighting rabbi and a drag queen.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 01:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
←Rate | 07-03-2011 21:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up today singing, "It's the 4th of July," to the tune of "It's the First of the Month," by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 16:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am starving, but not "get up out of the floor of the shower and make some food" starving.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 13:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you feel powerless, remind yourself that a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water-park.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: Florida Highway Patrol is reporting a mass exodus of toddlers hitchhiking to get the hell out of Florida.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 21:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that the Actor who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter said he is going to become a rapper! .... can we all say Expecto Disapointmento!
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im so sick of my smartphone. If technology was up to me, we'd just now be getting around to the whistle thingy when a tea kettle gets hot.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am going to only talk like a gangster from the 1940s starting right now. See?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the kind of heat that causes Rob Thomas and Santana to collaborate.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 16:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon #AmyWinehouse Cremated...emergency response team called during cremation the crowd outside heard a huge explosion and started to smell Crack
←Rate | 07-26-2011 13:39 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon "This pu55y won't eat itself!" "Actually, those leggings are proving otherwise."
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My couple friends just keep me around so that when they fight they can refer to me to remind them how awful & lonely it is to be single.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 17:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon ok brain. You woke me up at 4:13am. Must be important. Whats that? You want me to think about the Tylenol scare of '82? Done!
←Rate | 08-04-2011 04:13 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wonder when Sarah Palin is going to weigh in on this Stocky Markety Swoopsy Dowsy stuff.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 01:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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