Will Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I bought a car last week. Well, by "bought" I mean "poisoned" and by "car" I mean "my neighbor's dog."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:11 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't Polish people kill frogs? Because it's their national bird.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:36 by Will Comments (4)  


   messageicon I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
←Rate | 01-31-2011 18:02 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love snow it can make the dirtiest ghetto look clean.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 19:28 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:52 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:54 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are like police. They never believe things without evidence.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:57 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are now aware that you can't say Irish wristwatch.
←Rate | 02-08-2011 07:19 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work would be so much better if there was nap time, recess, and gym.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 00:25 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it amazing how the sound of one persons voice can ruin your whole day at work.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:05 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon A blizzard in January, and a tornado in February. I didn't realize how bi polar mother nature really is.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 00:40 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 05:09 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I wanted a job where I got screwed every day, I would have became a prostitute.
←Rate | 03-25-2011 02:21 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1:00 in the afternoon and no one is on xbox live? What do people have to do this early in the morning that's sooo important you can't play call of duty?
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:19 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody needs to believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 13:31 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new gas process. Step 1 enter credit card. Step 2 enter annual salary. Processing... Loan approved, you may now fill your gas tank. Have a nice day.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 04:55 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather hear a dry fart from a wet dog than hear another one of your boring stories
←Rate | 06-05-2011 21:37 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 05:24 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone? It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 09:33 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 02:36 by Will Comments (0)  




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