Scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've been invited to a Post-Rapture looting event but I replied "Maybe attending" because I've also been invited to a Judgement Day event and I need to see how that goes before I decide for sure....
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:29 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories...
←Rate | 05-21-2011 11:03 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:35 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon On-Star has made it so much more difficult for me to take my time when I'm robbing accident victims....:-)
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:24 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced that whoever invented crack cocaine is also responsible for Samoa girl scout cookies. The similarities are too obvious to ignore...
←Rate | 01-28-2012 18:39 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case anyone is wondering, it's 72 degrees and partly cloudy in India today. The only reason I know this is because I just had a pleasant conversation with a Customer Service rep from Bank of America....
←Rate | 02-20-2012 09:42 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Luke, I'm like totally your father. Party on." ~~Garth Vader
←Rate | 03-15-2012 14:21 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon It turns out Donna Summers lied, She Wont Survive....
←Rate | 05-17-2012 16:09 by Scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon Even if you don't believe in the Mayan calender, somewhere in the back of your mind you're thinking "I wonder if that sh!ts for real".....
←Rate | 06-05-2012 10:59 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The one thing that I'll never understand is women, tofu, yoga, and counting...
←Rate | 06-08-2012 13:44 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now.....
←Rate | 06-16-2012 15:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend bought me a can of Axe bodyspray for my birthday......However, I live in a predominantly black neighborhood so around here we call is Ask.......
←Rate | 06-28-2012 10:32 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sitting here watching "The First 48", and thinking, you just killed someone....is it THAT hard to plead 'not guilty" and just take your chances..
←Rate | 07-02-2012 19:06 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always eat breakfast naked, but when I do, I get escorted out of IHOP really quickly......
←Rate | 09-10-2012 15:55 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon God traffic sucks today. So glad that 47 per cent of the people in this country don't even try otherwise traffic would be even worse!
←Rate | 09-20-2012 10:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never "Officially" done Yoga, but I did have to get up in the middle of last night and pee.........while erect.......so I'm pretty sure I'm qualified to teach a class now.............(If you are a woman, don't even bother trying to understand this)
←Rate | 10-04-2012 09:17 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I've never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
←Rate | 10-09-2012 09:25 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon 10-11-12..........Happy I can count past 9 day.....:-)
←Rate | 10-11-2012 08:58 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon its Sunday morning and I'm in a liquor store wearing nothing but a bathing suit and flipflops..so yes Mrs. cashier..im pretty sure I dont need a reciept
←Rate | 11-11-2012 11:39 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon so I just watched " Limitless" for the 1st time with my girlfriend. She said " Wouldnt it be great if there was a drug that you could accomplish anything and just b a little sick afterwards?"..i was like, there is, its called OPIATES...
←Rate | 01-04-2013 21:11 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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