Bryan j brown Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
←Rate | 10-07-2011 13:07 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look just cuz I wont go by you tampons doesn't mean I don't love you...Hell didn't I buy you like 3 rolls of Bounty...That's called a Compromise...
←Rate | 10-07-2011 15:08 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man Law #236: Unless you last name is "Van Damme" grown a$$ men don't do the splits...
←Rate | 10-08-2011 14:06 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon it crazy that when I go to stores and have to sign my name for stuff I sign "Daffy Duck"...I mean I guess its not a problem unless Daffy Duck steals my identity right??
←Rate | 10-12-2011 16:37 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men lie about how many women they have been with because they CAN'T remember the exact number...Women lie about how many men they have been with because they CAN remember the exact number....
←Rate | 10-15-2011 12:54 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex isn't everything...Unless your not having any...
←Rate | 10-15-2011 13:04 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well maybe if you didn't have dem ( . )( . ) poppin out your turtleneck we wouldn't have this Eye-Contact problem....
←Rate | 10-19-2011 14:02 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women need that perfect combination of "Yes Dear" and "Hush Yo Mouth Woman"..
←Rate | 10-19-2011 14:04 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating Rule #7: When on a first date a gentleman always lets his lady have the Burger King crown...Cuz it will make her feel special....
←Rate | 10-20-2011 14:23 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel??
←Rate | 10-25-2011 16:50 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a $5 bill in some old pants from middle school...Do you know how many rectangle pizzas with the cube pepperoni I could have bought with that?? Or better yet some mutha-f^ckin Chicken Rings...
←Rate | 10-28-2011 19:11 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gotta ask her "Does this feel good??" you aint doin it right....
←Rate | 10-29-2011 18:09 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can learn a lot about a woman from the top dresser drawer beside her bed....
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody know if their is a place hiring someone too stand there and look pretty cuz I have a PhD in that sh*t...
←Rate | 11-11-2011 16:16 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember nobody's perfect...Cuz i'm sure even Mother Teresa blamed her fart on a kid or two...
←Rate | 11-13-2011 21:29 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day Werewolves didn't fall in love with babies...THEY ATE THEM!!
←Rate | 11-18-2011 20:42 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh snap if gas gets below $3 a gallon looks like I can start dating girls out side my city limits....Whoop Whoop
←Rate | 11-25-2011 19:05 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I dont wanna have to tell you how to do your job as a woman...But as a man that's my job...
←Rate | 12-04-2011 21:37 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that 85% of Facebook relationships end in "F*ck that B*tch"..
←Rate | 12-12-2011 23:42 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Part of me says "I can wear my sunglasses at night"...But the other part says "Fool you know you clumsy enough in the daytime"...
←Rate | 01-08-2012 21:41 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  




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