hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They're coming out with a line of Kardashian Barbie Dolls. As if the actual Kardashians aren't fake enough.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 17:27 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got life alert just in case I ever get a life.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 04:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Louis Vuitton's selling $68 condoms? Fine by me. Anyone idiotic enough to spend that much money on a condom probably shouldn't breed.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 18:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My retirement plan is pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you were a kid there was nothing more satisfying as when you made the honking signal to the truck driver and he honked back
←Rate | 10-07-2012 09:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think about running away from home more often as an adult than I ever did when I was a kid.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided I'm not going to have kids. I love babies, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 05:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's very important that EVERYONE gets a flu shot this year so I don't have to.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 04:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5-second rule should also apply to anything a guy says to a woman. If she looks like she is getting angry, we have 5-seconds to take it back.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 14:01 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog's Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today… He just yelled at me.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 05:22 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too much of my life is spent trying to think of something to write on people's FB walls for their birthday other than "Happy Birthday!"
←Rate | 02-21-2013 04:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a horrible sleeping disorder where I have to wake up every morning and go to work.
←Rate | 03-25-2012 08:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more you know, the less you need to say.
←Rate | 02-26-2012 11:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 20:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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