Unknown comic Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I believe that society is ready for a return to dueling.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 05:28 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gardening would be a great hobby if I didn't hate plants or going outside or doing things
←Rate | 06-23-2015 05:56 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a little joke I put glitter in my tax-return envelope and the IRS responded with a little joke that I owe $ 11,000 in back taxes.
←Rate | 02-12-2016 21:18 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to hear about your weekend plans just give me a second to put on my airplane neck pillow.
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:21 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi. I am the only Caucasian on the planet that doesn't care about Game of Thrones or how many Emmy nominations it has.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 05:30 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHAT DO WE NOT WANT? -no scrubs! WHERE DO WE NOT WANT THEM? -hangin out the passenger side of his best friends ride
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:12 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
←Rate | 08-23-2015 06:47 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
←Rate | 12-03-2016 05:11 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people. Never gets old.
←Rate | 07-06-2017 08:02 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon obviously I'm against a baby fight club on a moral basis but in terms of humor... it's pure gold
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always awkward ending phone calls with people you love. I always say, "I love you" and they're like "Thank you for choosing Domino's Pizza."
←Rate | 07-17-2015 07:40 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way a dog that doesn't play fetch looks at a thrown ball—that's how I feel about everything.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:20 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon It took my decades to sleep soundly knowing that rhythm will not in fact get me, tonight or any night
←Rate | 07-17-2017 08:23 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say potato you say potato, another guy says potato, everyone starts chanting potato, the potato meeting was a huge success
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:44 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Looked over and saw my phone on the table. Afraid to check my back pocket.
←Rate | 03-21-2016 11:45 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crazy how the Pointer Sisters say they're JUST burning doing the Neutron Dance like it's not a huge deal to catch fire from dancing
←Rate | 06-23-2015 05:59 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Your word is 'ouija'" -could you use that in a seance?
←Rate | 03-13-2016 20:48 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am strongly opposed to a representational democracy.... AND I VOTE!
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:44 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Unless the devil you know is Steve "Goat Hooves" Kapinski. That guy's the worst.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:34 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at jello. Oh you said hello. Do you have any jello? No? Why are you doing this to me?
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:54 by unknown comic Comments (0)  



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