Funny Status Messages Search

X says If at first you don't succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You'll be amazed of how much less you care.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-20-2012 16:31 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Smoking weed doesn't make you cool. It's what you do while you're high that does.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-21-2012 12:23 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Before Facebook, I used to be stupid in the confines and privacy of my own mind.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-22-2012 13:27 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says When you upload photos to Facebook, I'd appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends. It makes stalking them much easier. Thank you.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-22-2012 13:30 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I'd jump in front of a bus for you. As long as its not moving.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-22-2012 13:33 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Where do you keep your booze? I keep mine in my liver, like normal people.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-22-2012 14:15 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Dogs are tough I tell you...... I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-23-2012 14:42 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says If someone does not appreciate your presence, give them a taste of your absence and see how they like it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 01:02 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says If my door was closed when you came in, make sure its closed on your way out. Thank you!

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-30-2012 14:17 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says My drug dealer cracks me up.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-02-2012 13:53 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says The stuff you do while you're procrastinating is what you should be doing for the rest of your life.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-02-2012 14:16 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says "I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 40, is that bad?" ''You spelled dad wrong."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-02-2012 15:04 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I'm moving to Antarctica, where there's no bullsh!t. Just penguins.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-02-2012 15:05 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says This girl just agreed to go on a date with me this weekend. Now I just need to email her my terms and conditions and we are good to go.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-07-2012 04:03 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says WANTED: A single girl who can cook, love and has a good Job. Must have a house and a car. Please send me pictures of your HOUSE and CAR.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2012 02:04 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says it cardio if you put on your swimsuit and have a panic attack?

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-13-2012 08:38 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Canadians watch US politics like Americans watch Jersey Shore.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-13-2012 08:39 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Girls who say 'G-strings are more comfortable than regular underwear' know that men hear 'I like things in my butt'

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-13-2012 08:48 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-15-2012 14:21 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I just never wanna get "make my own belt holes" fat.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-17-2012 14:15 by Nobody Comments (0)