Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm on a jet, flying to Europe. "Would you like dinner?", the flight attendant asked. I go, "What are my choices?". She said, "Yes or no."
←Rate | 09-26-2011 15:32 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, Please send some nice clothes for that poor lady in Daddy's computer who hasn't got any. Love, Paul XXX
←Rate | 09-28-2011 21:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Psychiatric labels are nice way of sugar coating the fact that some people are just plain a$$holes.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:40 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 08:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents had a weird perspective on raising me. The day they brought me home from the hospital when I was born, they put a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time is 18 years."
←Rate | 07-22-2011 09:26 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked, "Crushed nuts?" " He goes, "No, arthritis."
←Rate | 10-13-2011 13:53 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Close mindedness is the most abject form of blindness.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:19 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, you simply need to walk away from people that weren't who you thought they were...or more importantly, who you wanted them to be.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 08:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait to embark on this wonderfully mysterious, enchantingly romantic journey with you. The entire trip. All the way from, "Hello".....to...... "WTF JUDGE! THE HOUSE, THE CAR, AND PERMANENT ALIMONY TOO????"
←Rate | 08-06-2011 15:21 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love my new job. It's at a work free drug place.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 06:32 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay. You have the perfect marriage. Fine. Your grandkids are the greatest ever. Fine. You have a nice car and boat. Fine. Stick em all up your a$$. Fine.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 19:54 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chinese couple's wedding night. Time for sex. The bride asks the husband what he wants. He says, "69". She says, "You want Beef with Broccoli?"
←Rate | 09-14-2011 17:44 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a Paleontological fact that T-Rexes were so vicious because their arms were too short for them to masturbate.
←Rate | 09-18-2011 07:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody else go around clicking LIKE on all the hot chicks posts, no matter what stupid sh*t it is?
←Rate | 11-29-2011 10:49 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I had the greatest Sunday dinner ever. I can't begin to define the level of greatness that this meal possessed. It was so great, I can't actually tell you you how truly great it was. I had Frosted Flakes.
←Rate | 01-08-2012 16:31 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not going to apologize for it, cause the truth is I'd do it again.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 18:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that those who have nothing on the inside, are the one's that are the most preoccupied with what is on the outside?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 08:04 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
←Rate | 10-03-2011 16:59 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon An old guy asks his pharmacist about V*agra. The pharmacist says it works great. The old guy asks him if he can get it over the counter. The pharmacist said yes, if he takes six.
←Rate | 09-16-2011 13:53 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep telling my friends, "Stop being so sexist....don't you know broads hate that?"
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:00 by Mick F Comments (0)  



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