Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor's WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I'm the victim here!
←Rate | 07-01-2011 15:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Martin Luther King, Jr. had to wait 40 years to get his own momunent, and then they make it out of white marble? Awkward...
←Rate | 09-02-2011 21:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Well, it's about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 16:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the landmarks and millions of beautiful places on Google Earth, and the first thing everyone looks at is their own house.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 20:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling...
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, amen,"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 20:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "just kidding."
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that stupidity can't be converted into a usable energy source.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 09:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 15:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they're still getting an answer.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 16:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I did 26 situps this morning. It's not a lot, but then again how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock?
←Rate | 03-06-2011 00:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good thing I got this degree, just in case this unemployment thing doesn't work out.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 13:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl told me that her fantasy f*ck would be Brad Pitt. Then she went mental because I told her mine. Apparently Amber from next door wasn't a good answer,
←Rate | 08-04-2011 04:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it's my modesty that stands out.
←Rate | 05-23-2012 15:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reason why I check my voice mail... 5% Because I care about my missed calls, 95% to remove that annoying icon.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be pissed...........
←Rate | 06-02-2012 21:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attractive female traffic cops should make it clear they are not strippers sent by your buddies BEFORE they tase me.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 15:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk about a double standard, my 6 month old niece sneezes in someone's face and it's all "aww....how cute." I do it and suddenly it's all "what the hell is wrong with you."
←Rate | 09-09-2012 17:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw the neighbor's little kid trying to spray whipped cream on his pet cat. I'm thinking he overheard something last night he wasn't supposed to...
←Rate | 09-06-2011 16:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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