KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 00:57 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell me to make myself at home if you don't want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
←Rate | 10-15-2011 02:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 09:00 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if random erections are actually ninja handjobs?
←Rate | 01-15-2012 13:35 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to have a posse, make sure they're clean shaven. Nobody likes a hairy posse.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 07:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm 94% sure I'm going to die in a running in flip flops incident.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 12:23 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 14:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who go to the liquor store and buy a pint of whiskey are poor planners… what are you going to drink tomorrow?
←Rate | 01-17-2012 14:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I want written on my tombstone "Finally Offline".
←Rate | 04-08-2012 17:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lord gimme patience...or an untraceable handgun.
←Rate | 08-06-2011 14:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like "It wasn't that hard."
←Rate | 03-11-2012 22:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pregnant women look so happy. It's like they don't even know what's going to happen.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 15:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get out of bed, it's a trap.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 08:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon That thing where hypnotists snap their fingers and people fall asleep? Do they make that for kids?
←Rate | 05-13-2012 09:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been knocking for ten minutes. Don't people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
←Rate | 10-15-2011 02:45 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear woman who likes to bring her friends along on our first date. You are simply giving me more options just in case I am not feeling you.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 06:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need new haters. The old ones are starting to like me.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 15:14 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  




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