Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hiding peoples status' on your news feed is the best way of sayin f*ck you're annoying but I don't wanna delete you cuz you'll notice.
←Rate | 05-17-2010 10:00 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon beer doesn't make me post better Facebook Status updates, it just makes me not care what you think of them.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I tried the whole Yahoo vs Google thing. I typed "Why is there." Yahoo gave me "Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball" and Google gave me "Why is there a drunk Chinese man doing push ups on my front lawn." Google wins yet again
←Rate | 05-23-2010 12:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am used but in good condition
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I consider the cup half empty or half full? Depends on whether I'm emptying it or filling it.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear an eye patch when I download music illegally.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon 100 calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think there's any limit to how many blades they'll put on razors? Like in 2025 there will be the Schick Annihilator 100.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I pick my hotels solely based upon the items they show in the pictures of their continental breakfast.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon People always demand to know who farted as if they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's responsible.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't trust people who don't have middle names...
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing I hate more than people who make fun of other people is people who don't laugh when I do it.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You post one little joke saying you won the lottery and Facebook finds you 1,347 new possible relatives.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be some much easier for me to be compassionate, if compassionate meant smacking people in the head.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:04 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Criticism is the best sign you're onto something.
←Rate | 05-10-2010 14:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one has ever complimented me on my mountain fresh scent. Either people are jerks or this body wash is bullsh*t.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:11 by Joser Comments (0)  




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