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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Hiding peoples status' on your news feed is the best way of sayin f*ck you're annoying but I don't wanna delete you cuz you'll notice.
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05-17-2010 10:00 by
Joser
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beer doesn't make me post better Facebook Status updates, it just makes me not care what you think of them.
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07-06-2010 17:22 by
Joser
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Today I tried the whole Yahoo vs Google thing. I typed "Why is there." Yahoo gave me "Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball" and Google gave me "Why is there a drunk Chinese man doing push ups on my front lawn." Google wins yet again
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05-23-2010 12:29 by
Joser
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I am used but in good condition
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05-04-2010 17:41 by
Joser
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Do I consider the cup half empty or half full? Depends on whether I'm emptying it or filling it.
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06-24-2010 23:20 by
Joser
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List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
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07-03-2010 14:40 by
Joser
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I wear an eye patch when I download music illegally.
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07-13-2010 18:10 by
Joser
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100 calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off.
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07-16-2010 18:01 by
Joser
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Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
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04-22-2010 09:05 by
Joser
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Do you think there's any limit to how many blades they'll put on razors? Like in 2025 there will be the Schick Annihilator 100.
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05-03-2010 17:17 by
Joser
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Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face.
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06-01-2010 13:24 by
Joser
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I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I pick my hotels solely based upon the items they show in the pictures of their continental breakfast.
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07-02-2010 18:33 by
Joser
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People always demand to know who farted as if they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's responsible.
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06-01-2010 13:30 by
Joser
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Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.
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06-23-2010 18:20 by
Joser
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I don't trust people who don't have middle names...
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06-28-2010 21:20 by
Joser
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The only thing I hate more than people who make fun of other people is people who don't laugh when I do it.
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06-28-2010 21:21 by
Joser
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You post one little joke saying you won the lottery and Facebook finds you 1,347 new possible relatives.
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07-06-2010 17:25 by
Joser
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It would be some much easier for me to be compassionate, if compassionate meant smacking people in the head.
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05-03-2010 17:04 by
Joser
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Criticism is the best sign you're onto something.
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05-10-2010 14:06 by
Joser
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No one has ever complimented me on my mountain fresh scent. Either people are jerks or this body wash is bullsh*t.
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07-13-2010 18:11 by
Joser
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