JBabcock Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The best way to get your teenage son to roll his eyes is show him your "Jedi Powers" by waving your hand in front of the automatic doors at Target.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Tom from Myspace ever gets lonely and browses Facebook for friends.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard Alicia Silverstone had a son and named it Bear Blu. Now I wonder if it's mere coincidence that she starred in Clueless.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:35 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon After watching Star Wars for the thousanth time I noticed Chewbacca is always wearing a purse. Now I wonder if he was actually a sidekick or the "competion" for Princess Leia
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Press is going on and on about how Beyonce has bared her "Baby Bump".Apparently she was successful in getting f*cked.Big Whoop! All the other members of Destiny's Child got f*cked a long time ago.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon One way to piss a Twilight fan off is to plainly tell them it's about a Sick Girl struggling to choose between her fetish for the dead and her weird thing for animals.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said "It's what's on the inside that counts the most" never met my ex and experienced how full of sh!t she is.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:12 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bank of America puts the "fun" in overfunded bailout money receivers.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:22 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Amazingly after a dozen bottles of Dos Equis EVERY man thinks he is the "Most Interesting Man in the World."
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes!...*sigh* this "Psyching Yourself Out" theory is bull$hit!
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:04 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon ¡¡¡ ʎɐʍʎuɐ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ llǝʍ ˙pǝxıɟ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇǝƃ ɐʇʇoƃ ı ʍou ʇnq ʇuǝsǝɹd ɐ noʎ ʇǝƃ oʇ ʎǝuoɯ ɐɹʇxǝ ǝɯos pɐɥ ı ˙ʎppnq ʎɹɹos
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:03 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sadly there comes a day in every Father/Son Relationship where your son asserts himself by simply saying "No thank you" when you say "Pull my finger".
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Putting a friends name on your status update box on accident while searching for them is pretty funny for all your friends and family to see. Unless your friend is a Porn Site.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:17 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever Google "things to eat in my fridge" and list is correct thats when I'll really be impressed with Google Earth.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:51 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a boy all I ever wanted was super sized tree house and a Jetson style Jetpack. But then my desires became more grown up over the years and now all I want is some dancing Hamsters from the Kia Soul commercials
←Rate | 09-19-2011 20:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:13 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women use their purses as a way to "mark" their territory while shoppin. They make us men hold their purses . I don't care if your Arnold Schwarzenegger, you look like a doofus holding your wifes purse outside a Fashion Barn dressing room.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 15:45 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so exhausted from work that I actually tried to use "The Force" to get the remote to come to me. When it didn't work I used the old Jedi Mind Trick sayin "These arent the droids your looking for give me the remote". My son did while rollin his eyes.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 18:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've decided that my years of experience as a Nurse will help me become a millionaire. I've designed a new adult diaper which is as comfortable as a huggie and is made from Sham Wow fabric. I'm calling it "The Sham Pooey".
←Rate | 08-20-2011 09:16 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

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