JAKE Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's going to be a Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 09:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon After a night of passion, I told my new girlfriend that she was the frist one I've ever been with. She smiled and said really? I said yea, the other's were sevens and eights. :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids have middle names so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
←Rate | 01-18-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 stages of marriage. 1.engagement ring. 2. wedding ring. 3. suffer ring.
←Rate | 01-30-2018 12:04 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 00:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have a system for making long distance phone calls. The family and friends plan. I go to a friends house and use their phone to call my family.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 12:52 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon After trying it doggie style I can't face my wife again.
←Rate | 02-09-2018 21:03 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon Went to an amature talent show and saw a topless ventriloquist. I didn't see her lips move once.
←Rate | 02-09-2018 21:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't see anything wrong with a kidnapping. If a kid wants to take a nap, let them.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 21:19 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sister ask her brother: Am I pretty or ugly? Brother: Your both. Sister: What do you mean? Brother: Your pretty ugly.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
←Rate | 08-30-2017 20:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The smog is so bad in my city that in the mornig the birds wake me by coughing in stead chirping.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were so poor. That one birthday my gift was a pack of batteries with a note, toys not included.
←Rate | 09-05-2017 16:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between broccoli and boogers. Kids won't eat broccoli.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:14 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 04:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon such an unthoughtful farmer that he wants to smash his neighbor's White Mystery Eggs and slaughter their Baby Calf if he can't get them off his News Feed.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:31 by jake Comments (0)  



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