GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Due to the extreme coal shortage, Santa will be giving out Justin Bieber cds to all the bad kids this year.
←Rate | 12-14-2022 17:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arguing with me is pointless, I knew I was wrong 10 minutes ago. I'm just trying to make you mad now.
←Rate | 05-22-2024 05:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch really isn't that bad. It's kind of manly, makes us feel like we are out camping... with a really angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 06-04-2024 09:49 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you may be, an empty wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to use to bonk someone over the head with.
←Rate | 12-20-2022 06:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is very simple. The husband is king of the house and the wife obeys his every command.
←Rate | 05-16-2023 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's kinda weird realizing that we are the last generation on this earth to know what life was like before social media.
←Rate | 07-25-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Always keep your wife as the background picture on your phone. That way if you need some encouragement, you can look at her photo and say, "Man, if I can put up being married to her, I can get through anything.
←Rate | 08-16-2024 11:30 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men marry a woman, hoping she's a nymphomaniac, and in a few years, the nympho leaves, but the maniac stays.
←Rate | 05-28-2024 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Merry Christmas offends you, then Merry Christmas.
←Rate | 12-22-2023 08:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clocks go back on November 3. I hope mine goes back to when people had morals, values, loyalty, appreciation, and respect.
←Rate | 10-21-2024 05:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: If your wife wants to play video games with you, just remind her that the dishwasher makes awesome arcade sounds.
←Rate | 03-27-2023 06:00 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every year, my Christmas list begins with "Dear Santa, my sisters did it. But I have been very good this year, because I'm an angel!
←Rate | 12-10-2022 16:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a mosquito with a coat on. They're not giving up!
←Rate | 10-22-2023 09:22 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Volkswagen should bring back the Beetle as an electric car. They can call it the Lightning Bug.
←Rate | 10-13-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon A blonde finds out she's going to have twins and starts crying. "What's wrong," the doctor asked, "Do you not want twins?" The blonde replied, "No, I don't know who the second dad is!"
←Rate | 09-03-2023 10:25 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant "autumn", not the collapse of civilization.
←Rate | 08-29-2024 08:34 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know whose manager needs to hear this but pizza is not a bonus.
←Rate | 08-11-2024 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone update me on what's offensive today? It's hard to keep up.
←Rate | 08-31-2024 06:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It blows my mind that NASA is able to receive data from 4.67 billion miles away but I lose Wi-Fi signal in my kitchen.
←Rate | 05-17-2024 09:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you call me from a private number, I'll respect your privacy and not answer.
←Rate | 10-10-2023 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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