Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 21:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian requests her privacy during this time. Just her, an E! camera crew & 30 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex assured me that size never matter, but all of her dild@s look like they needed a lamp shade on top.
←Rate | 05-11-2012 20:19 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just spilled Whiskey all over my insides!
←Rate | 04-14-2012 20:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people make words come out of their mouths
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I ate to much, I dont mean right now. Just in general.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 09:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can turn any song into the explict version if I dont really know the words.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 16:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reece's Peanut Butter C Cups. Someone get to work on this. Now.
←Rate | 11-07-2013 18:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your laugh in real life sounds like "Bwahahaha", guaranteed I won't be funny around you.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 20:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food
←Rate | 08-09-2012 07:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird how starving people aren't allergic to gluten.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being single is nice because I don't have to repeat my mumbled gibberish in a defensive tone.
←Rate | 08-20-2012 22:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Licking whiskey off your keyboard in the morning is something everyone does, right?
←Rate | 06-12-2012 09:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wendy's idea of a medium could save an African village.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 12:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Michael Douglas ever gets rectal cancer we're in for one hell of a story.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 19:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes saying ayo I said no mayo.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 17:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're nice to an animal, it loves you for life. If you're nice to a woman, who the hell knows what's gonna happen.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 14:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can act my age just fine, until you say something like "penal code".
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first time sleeping over a girl's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying...still single
←Rate | 10-03-2011 21:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I want to be cremated and put inside an Etch-a-Sketch
←Rate | 10-26-2012 10:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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