Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ''Oh Hell No!'' Button!!!
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:48 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only God can Judge Me!....and some family, a few friends, the neighbors, definitely a couple co-workers! And all my Facebook friends!!!
←Rate | 07-03-2012 18:52 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try this: Tell your children over dinner, ''Due to the Economy,We are going to have to let one of you go!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 07:29 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad Gun! Bad Gun!....Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!.......And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 13:31 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (1)  


   messageicon Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 09:27 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had one too many lastnight! Woke up to my neighbor mowing his lawn! .....I don't care, I am not moving! He's just going to have to mow around me!!!
←Rate | 07-06-2012 09:19 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P. Andy Griffith..........There's a new sheriff in town!
←Rate | 07-03-2012 10:14 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Jerry Sandusky is still screwing kids(players) at Penn State even after he's gone!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 12:59 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is all about A$$! You are either covering it! Kissing it! Busting it! Laughing it off! Trying to get a piece of it! ......Or you live with one!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 09:12 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to leave the paperboy a tip! I left some at the end of the driveway, in the bushes,by the sprinkler, everywhere but my at my front door!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:10 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it is so impolite for people to sneak up on you while you are talking about them behind their back!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:11 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was an Athlete in school. I Dreamt of running in the Olympics one day! Now, I dream of just getting my fat a$$ off the couch!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 13:33 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I've grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible! But pissing everyone off...that's a piece of cake!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 05:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 13:50 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called 411 and asked the operator ''I'd like the number for Melissa Fontana in Silver Spring, Md. ''There are multiple listings for Melissa Fontana, Do you have a street name?'' I hesitated ''Well, uh some people call me Snake!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 11:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:15 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wsh mirrors, pictures, and what I think I look like would get together and agree on what I really look like!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way Police check to see if you're wearing your seat belt they should do to make sure ''Certain'' people are wearing Condoms!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on a I don't give a F*CK Diet......I've already lost 10 a$$holes!!!
←Rate | 07-07-2012 18:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  




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