Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Got a little too much Sun today! I knew I should have closed the blinds!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 07:03 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the North Korean soccer team won their opening game at the Olympics yesterday! I'm guessing they will be allowed to live, at least until they lose!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 12:55 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NewYork Knicks announced they are going to cut off Beer sales after the 3rd Quarter of games starting next season! Not to worry though, that's just for point guard Jason Kidd!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 06:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Penn State announced the reason they took down the Joe Paterno statue was becuase of the jokes and fun the University was being subjected to! This coming from a school that has a stadium named ''Beaver''
←Rate | 07-26-2012 12:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, I hear they're naming a new paint after you! It's called Whore Red. Not very Bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily!!!
←Rate | 07-16-2012 12:10 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only God can Judge Me!....and some family, a few friends, the neighbors, definitely a couple co-workers! And all my Facebook friends!!!
←Rate | 07-03-2012 18:52 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try this: Tell your children over dinner, ''Due to the Economy,We are going to have to let one of you go!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 07:29 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had one too many lastnight! Woke up to my neighbor mowing his lawn! .....I don't care, I am not moving! He's just going to have to mow around me!!!
←Rate | 07-06-2012 09:19 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P. Andy Griffith..........There's a new sheriff in town!
←Rate | 07-03-2012 10:14 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Jerry Sandusky is still screwing kids(players) at Penn State even after he's gone!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 12:59 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is all about A$$! You are either covering it! Kissing it! Busting it! Laughing it off! Trying to get a piece of it! ......Or you live with one!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 09:12 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to leave the paperboy a tip! I left some at the end of the driveway, in the bushes,by the sprinkler, everywhere but my at my front door!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:10 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it is so impolite for people to sneak up on you while you are talking about them behind their back!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:11 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was an Athlete in school. I Dreamt of running in the Olympics one day! Now, I dream of just getting my fat a$$ off the couch!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 13:33 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I've grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible! But pissing everyone off...that's a piece of cake!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 05:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 13:50 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called 411 and asked the operator ''I'd like the number for Melissa Fontana in Silver Spring, Md. ''There are multiple listings for Melissa Fontana, Do you have a street name?'' I hesitated ''Well, uh some people call me Snake!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 11:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:15 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wsh mirrors, pictures, and what I think I look like would get together and agree on what I really look like!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  



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