Flinnie Funny Status Messages

   My wife just nominated me for the "would it kill you to refill the ice trays every once in a while" challenge?

   Fun idea: empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Freaks out snooping house guests.

   I'm beginning to think Queen Latifah is not actually a queen.

   So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry"

   I almost felt strongly about something today but then I saw a duck

   Was asked to join the Optimist Club the other day but I just had this feeling that no good would come of it.

   Welcome to passive aggressive training. None of you appear to be very bright... but I'm sure you'll do great!

   I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.

   "More power to him" is the polite way to say "What a freakin' wacko".

   Lady Gaga was at the White House today. The President was in Kansas, and willing to go further if necessary.

   They say money can't buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.

   Its up to you if you want to sneak your IPod into a meeting. Just don't do an air drum solo. It gives you away.

   Does anyone know what the other half of the battle is?

   Why is it that a woman can get a tattoo of a naked fairy sitting on a half moon and its sexy, but when a guy gets a naked wizard making love to a dragon its creepy?

   Sort of rude to kiss your husband right in front of me when I've been looking at your boobs from behind a tree for 20 min.

   Driving home today I saw a guy in a pink snuggie jogging. Sadly that's not the craziest thing I've seen in this town.

   I want Liam Neeson to star in a remake of "Breakin' "

   Writing "wash me" on someone's car is kind of funny, but writing "I'm watching you right now" is hysterical

   Time for you children of the 80s to feel old. Sheena Easton turns 53 yesterday. Think about that while you are on the morning train.

   I'm thinking of doing a butter sculpture of a stick of butter. I hope nobody has done that one yet.