Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No man goes before his time....... Unless the boss leaves early...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody hates me because I'm so universally well-liked...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no volcanologist but has anyone tried throwing in a few virgins?
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good news is, we destroyed the Ring. The bad news is, we disrupted a hemisphere's worth of air travel and two dozen national economies... our badd...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet smell and their noses run.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon found out they sell Universal Remotes at Wal*Mart... I cant believe power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon used the search term "the perfect job for me" on google and it laughed at me...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reminder: Buy low and sell high... Unless it's Pot... Then you're buying and selling high...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop everything you're doing... Think about me... You're welcome...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign outside the Burger King that says Now Hiring Closers is obviously spelled with a silent C.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:07 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know what Cinco de Mayo is, I just don't know when it is.
←Rate | 04-21-2010 13:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Evidently that good Samaritan bullsh*t doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car.
←Rate | 04-20-2010 23:46 by Joser Comments (0)  




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