will Funny Status Messages

   Don't you just love nature? Dispite what it did to your face.

   Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

   My mom always said kill them with kindness, but for you I'm getting my gun!

   1:00 in the afternoon and no one is on xbox live? What do people have to do this early in the morning that's sooo important you can't play call of duty?

   Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

   You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you alot and think of you often.

   Work would be so much better if there was nap time, recess, and gym.

   I personally know that being stupid is its own reward

   Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

   I'll call the people I see at work "coworkers" as soon as they start doing some work.

   Worse thing about having a couple ex's in group of friends. I always have to check the attending list on Facebook events before confirming.

   My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.

   We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true.

   I love snow it can make the dirtiest ghetto look clean.

   Life's a b!tch, because if it were a slut, it'd be easy.

   I'm so good at sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed

   Thinks that if someone says plz because it's shorter than please, you should say no because it's shorter than yes.

   Angry Birds is going to be turned into an animated series. If it's anything like the game an episode will be 30 seconds long, played 20 times in a row, and sure to piss people off.

   I went fishing for bottom feeders yesterday, and caught a R0unders!

   You are the kind of a person that we could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.