bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   Did you know that 85% of Facebook relationships end in "F*ck that B*tch"..

   You know right about now cyphing gas outta folks cars really dont sound that crazy too me

   Part of me says "I can wear my sunglasses at night"...But the other part says "Fool you know you clumsy enough in the daytime"...

   Ladies if you wanna get yo man a tie this Christmas thats fine...Just make sure you are wearing tie with nothing else on when you give it too him...

   Sometimes if I get scared at night..I just tell myself there are no such things as ghost only clumsy ninjas....

   Man with the Oil Spills and now the Nuclear Meltdowns we are gonna blow up this planet one day...I'm thinking bout packin my sh^t and moving to another planet..Which planet did the 3 boobs lady live on in the movie "Total Recall"??

   ‎"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me." Mother Teresa

   Sex isn't everything...Unless your not having any...

   Why do chicks say that they can count the number of dudes they been with on one hand?? B*tch you ain't got 20 fingers on one hand..

   You know I think its real messed up that clubs have "Ladies Night" where a bunch of them can go and drink free for a while and dance...But they dont have a "Guys Night" where dudes can do the same...??Oh wait??..That sounds kinda gay...NEVERMIND

   Look just cuz I wont go by you tampons doesn't mean I don't love you...Hell didn't I buy you like 3 rolls of Bounty...That's called a Compromise...

   Doin the same thing I do every night...Try to take over the world!

   HEY EVERYBODY ON FACEBOOK!! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!....i'm so humble..ok..that is all...

   As a guy I think you can learn so much by listening to two women talk to each other..Unless they are talking about periods then you just need to excuse yourself...Cuz some mysteries should remain unsolved...

   Does anybody know if their is a place hiring someone too stand there and look pretty cuz I have a PhD in that sh*t...

   The lil bro said he heard a noise in his closet so he wanted me too do a monster check just to make sure...So I did even tho I tried to explain that if the monster is in the closet hes probably not that scary...maybe a lil glittery...but not scary

   Now I dont wanna have to tell you how to do your job as a woman...But as a man that's my job...

   Look slavery is and will alwayz be wrong..BUT...I think I'm starting too understand white folks better cuz doing ur own laundry does kinda suck too

   Women need that perfect combination of "Yes Dear" and "Hush Yo Mouth Woman"..

   You know if I was the ruler of my own country and I thought the people were gonna revolt against me...I would probably give them free rice krispies treats...Cuz aint no way you could stay mad at someone whose giving you free rice krispies treats...