bob Funny Status Messages

   thank you Tom Brady for showing the world that you have way more GOD given talent than Tebow!

   BREAKING NEWS: In a new Marital Sex Survey, women have reportedly faked all their answers ....

   I'm single by choice...Not my choice, but it's still a choice.

   multi-directional urinating and it all landed safely at sea....gonna be a good day!

   For one to describe oneself as monosyllabic would be an oxymoron.

   Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume

   The goal keeper in soccer is allowed to pick up the ball...so why doesn't he just pick it up and just run across the field to the other goal?

   Substitute " My ass" for "This girls" on fire and you're welcome Preparation H for your new ad campaign.

   What is it with those female athletes, freezing temps and they wear them thin skin tight lycra suits, my wife wears more than that in a warm bed

   Dear Target: please fire your ad agency. That crazy blonde lady in red is annoying and will probably bring your sales way down. Call an audible and hire Walmart's

   Science ignores any facts that disprove evolution. Nothing scientific about that!

   doubling his calorie intake to gain weight, and all this is doing is making me drop quatros instead of dueces.

   Since casino commercials abruptly end with "gambling problem, call 1-800gambler"......why don't booze commercials end with "drinking problem, call 1-800guzzler" ?

   If you are one, 'stop being a procrastinator' should take precedence over all other resolutions. Starting tomorrow.

   Lindsey Vonn starts at the top and ends up on the bottom.....so, apparently, does Tiger

   What's with those lower urinals? Are they for small boys or large men?

   nothings more horrifying than when you do an early flush and then start to feel wetness.

   Watching a good movie but doesn't know why people put sex on DVDs

   if you shave off your arm hair and it grows back to the exact same length, does that mean its twice as long as it was?

   Obama should use enhanced interrogation techniques on Newt to find out where the secret "bring the price of gas down to $2.50/gallon" lever is.