Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   too avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.

   A picture is like a thousand words so if your profile photo is bad, it's like reading the word ugly a thousand times.

   Cheating is always worse when a woman does it because she has experience turning down sex. When she cheats, it is premeditated cheating; when a guy cheats, it is just cheating.

   has never been able to watch Finding Nemo all the way through in one sitting due to it's frequent use of the "N" word.

   tries to accept the things he can't change and change the things he can't accept.

   Romance works because ladies love dumb stuff and they are easily swayed by meaningless gestures. That's why all dudes have the same technique. It's called lying.

   some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

   a relationship between two person should be like the relationship between the hand and the eye. If the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and if the eye cries, the hand wipes its tear.

   can't help but wonder just how different the world would be if people's pants actually caught on fire when they lied. 0 up, 0 down

   being lazier right now than the guy who designed the Japanese flag.

   jealous of his parents because he will never have a kid as awesome as theirs.

   for some people religions are like farts. Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks.

   his relationship status set to "It's Complicated" simply because he can't decide on which hand to use.

   has found that the best thing about dating a homeless woman is that when the night's over, you can drop her off anywhere.

   wonders what guys did before baseball was created to tell how far they had gone with a girl.

   can't think of anytime to put as a status right now. If you could write my status for me, what would you put?

   If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.

   if someone tells you it is the inside that counts, that usually means the person they are talking about should stay inside their house.

   I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks.

   likes to pretend he is in a parade when he is stuck in traffic.