MC Fazzerino Funny Status Messages

   Romney or Obama....Romney or Obama. I'm just now getting the chance to vote. I LOVE living in Florida.

   I called the Atheist Dial-A-Prayer line. No one answered.

   Thanks to 0bamacare, Americans can expect to earn six figure salaries in 2014. Okay, six figures if you count the decimal point, the zeroes that follow the decimal point, and the dollar sign.

   Most places claiming to have Real New York Pizza usually don't. It's more like: "Real Upstate New York Pizza."

   Nothing says, "creative genius" like posting, "Good Morning!" with a cup of coffee with a smiley in the foam.

   We haven't lost an hour, we loaned it to the illusion we call "time". "Time" will pay us back in full at 2am on Sun., Nov 3. This is an interest free loan, and means there are no seconds, minutes, or hours assessed.

   You buy her a gift. She sleeps with you. The similarity here is that the s-e-x is also a gift since both things center on something coming in a box.

   Happy Hoildays Schmolidays. Merry Christmas Schmistmas. I lean towards the Christmas greeting, but I gotta be honest with myself. I don't care. I'm mainly in it for the food.

   If everyone has a crack in their a$$, why are so many still full of $hit?

   I just got a great deal on a dairy cow. It's lactose intolerant.

   I went to the dentist for a cleaning. After he was done I told him my teeth were still yellow. He said I should wear a brown tie then no one would notice.

   99% of my wardrobe consists of T shirts. This of course got me to thinking....aren't ALL shirts T's? Anyone out there who doesn't have a bilateral symmetry form and is instead shaped like a "W"?

   Lady GaGa just signed a deal with a major corporation to represent her new clothing line. Hillshire Farms.

   Summer officially checked in at 1:04 am. For Floridians, it also clocked in at 1:04 am. Back in April.