@sEddy90 Funny Status Messages

   This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

   People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're al the same

   . Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... woman

   In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?

   What's the quickest way to lose 190 pound of ugly fat ? Divorce him

   from the moment I saw u, I wanted 2b inside u, The way you smell, The way ur tongue feels, The way you tighten n loosen.....mmmm new shoes

   In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence

   Has anybody ever enjoyed moving ever? I now hate our mattress.

   The ONLY 2 acceptable excuses a man can't spend time with his child is if he's DEAD or IN JAIL, Happy Father's Day

   Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?

   The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters

   Appearances can be deceiving - a dollar bill looks the same as it did twenty-five years ago.

   A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car!

   Anger is one letter short of danger.

   Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

   Wonders if a cow from china would understand a cow from the US or do they moo different languages?

   I never figured "HECK" is a combination of Hell and Fcuuk.

   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lady, well, shame on Lionel Richie.

   BOSS: Built On Self Success.

   Goku had died and been ressurrected so many times it would make a Hindu dizzy.