@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   Telling someone that you're going to bed, When you're actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook/Twitter.

   After exercising I always eat a Pizza. Just Kidding, I don't exercise !!

   Teacher: "I am beautiful, which tense is this?" Me: "Obviously the past...”

   I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I was sweating...

   I don't think I've ever heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason..

   Lets run away together ... LOL, jk I have asthma!

   Mr. Krabs needs to get a DNA test on Pearl.

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ I'm still awesome either way. So who cares?

   I don't always eat what is right. Sometimes I eat what is left.

   Admit it, Once in your life, you've tried to guess someone's password but failed

   Halloween isn't really that different than any other day.. everyone's still pretending to be someone or something their not.

   Guy: I love u. Girl: Aww really? Boy: Yep, Its my favorite vowel.

   I hate when I see the skinniest people at the gym, Why are you there, YOU WON ALREADY!

   Be good to yourself because the longest relationship you will ever have in life is with yourself.

   You know you're irritated when somebody tells you to "have a nice day" and you respond with, "Don't tell me what to do!" -__-

   If I was stranded on a desert island & could only bring 1 thing, I would bring Dora. That b!tch has everything in her backpack

   While someone is speaking to me, 80% of my inner dialogue is just wondering if my face looks interested

   If I wave at you, you better wave back and not make me look stupid!

   Changing a whole text because you didn't know how to spell one word.

   I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up..