jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Confuius said "Never check the depth of water with both feet."
←Rate | 07-22-2018 21:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad decision: Saying come in to a Jehovah Witness at your door.
←Rate | 07-22-2018 15:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Husbands calm down are two words you should never say to your wife.
←Rate | 07-22-2018 15:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wives if your husband says something and you're not around to hear it is he still wrong?
←Rate | 07-22-2018 15:16 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seven qualities I look for in a woman. 1. Beautiful. 2. Intelligent. 3. Gentle. 4. Thoughtful. 5. Innocent. 6. Trustworthy. 7. Sensible . Or in short B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
←Rate | 07-21-2018 03:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife said you always come home in a bad mood. I can't remember the last time you came home in a good one. I said of course not..... that's because you weren't home.
←Rate | 07-21-2018 00:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids treat me like a god. They ignore my existence untill they need something.
←Rate | 07-21-2018 00:27 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moms, Save money on cereal by putting generic cereal in a bran name box. That way the kids will never know their eating generic cereal.
←Rate | 07-20-2018 22:42 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon My wife is a porn star. If she ever finds out, she'll kill me.
←Rate | 07-20-2018 20:42 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon In school I think all of our wives got straight A's in buyology.
←Rate | 07-19-2018 14:15 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woman are the only creatures to defly the laws of gravity. The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
←Rate | 07-19-2018 00:30 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Texbook: a tex message that way too long.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 22:32 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn't make you a TV star.
←Rate | 07-17-2018 02:04 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The two things a wife can do to make her husband happy. Pack her bags and leave.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 19:06 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say two heads are better than one. Untill it's their baby.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 03:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment. If you're attrative it's flirting.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 04:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my wedding the minister asked me: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? I said I do. He turn and look at her then back at me and said are you sure?
←Rate | 07-15-2018 00:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men.... Try role reversal in bed with your wife. And you have the headache for once.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're getting old when you use the word "thingy" because you can't remember what things are called.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:00 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What blood type does a pessimists have? ...... B negative.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 17:10 by Jake Comments (0)  




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