doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon For every time a woman replies "fine" to you, you lose a day off your life.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 20:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Settle down Cross Fit. Settle down. I just wanna lift weights not snatch smart cars.
←Rate | 11-19-2014 20:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year, I'm takin' candy from kids who have the most, to give to the kids too lazy to trick-or-treat themselves. Happy Obamaween. Merica.
←Rate | 10-29-2014 23:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people make words come out of their mouths
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon There may be a bunch of Princesses that follow me... But only one I'd fight dragons for.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon wanna have some fun? get in the van!
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hold a beer glass to your ear, you hear joy.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 20:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My forearm tattoo is just this Pringles can I cant get off my arm.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 20:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Responsibility gave me the finger yesterday.
←Rate | 07-07-2014 23:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon *emerges from behind your shower curtain..... Hey what's this restraining order about silly?
←Rate | 07-07-2014 23:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Yes, I need to check in." "Sir, this is a burn unit." "Yeah, I got hit hard with a battle of the bulge joke about a month ago, and I still have no comeback."
←Rate | 07-01-2014 23:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got stuck in my office chair, and now I'm breathing into a paper bag..
←Rate | 07-01-2014 23:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to have a salad for dinner. And by that I mean a bowl of ranch dressing and a beer.
←Rate | 07-01-2014 23:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personally, I think failure should be an option
←Rate | 07-01-2014 23:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok I put a staple in my finger today. Don't do that. Its not give birth pain but its like shooting heroin without the tingle.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to stop drinking but hydration is super important. I'm doing this format wrong, aren't I?
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking of starting a male version of the Red Hat Society. Come be a Purple Helmet with me, guys!
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just spilled an entire beer in the shower. -viewing today from 6 to 8.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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